Did you know that Cinderella was banned from Disney land? She was found sitting on top of Pinocchio's face yelling,
"Lie you bastard, lie!"
TRUE?
A young man feeling a little depressed and lacking in energy is approached by his boss. Boss to young Johnny-" Johnny, you look a little depressed and lethargic. Could I give you some words of advice? Johnny replies, "Yes". Boss- "Well, Johnny, when ever I feel a little depressed and things are getting on top of me. I sometimes shoot home during lunch break and make deep passionate love to my wife and I always feel much better when I return to work. Try it sometime." Johnny replies, "Sure boss, I'll give it a go on the next lunch break." Upon Johnny's return from his lunch break the boss is eager to learn the results of Johnny's little adventure.
Boss- "Well Johnny, how did it go?"
Johnny- "Well boss, it was one of the most therapeutic things that I have ever done, I am super relaxed, the tension and stress has been lifted from my shoulders and I feel like I can take on the world, I feel awesome!!!
Ohh by the way boss, your wife said to tell you to bring home some milk and bread!"
I worked with battered woman for many years as a Counsellor. Dealing with image issues played a big part in most womans' confidence. Little quotes like this always had a positive impact especially so as it provides a humorous outlook on life
A young man see's a huge sign plastered on the side of a tall building. It reads- Climb to Success! He reads a little notice at the bottom of the building that says that whoever makes it to the top of the building will be rewarded.Not being particularly busy that day and curious as to what could on the top of the building, he decides to make the climb up the numerous flights of stairs. He reaches the fifth floor and sees another of the the 'Climb to Success' signs. He continues the climb. Again on the tenth floor he sees yet another of the 'Climb to success' signs. He starts to become a little tired but he pushes himself forward and continues. Yet again on reaching the fifteenth floor, there is another of the all too familiar "Climb to success' signs. With determination he pushes on wards and upwards. Finally on the exit to the twentieth and final floor, he sees the last of the "Climb to Success' signs. Tired and a little bewildered, he finally emerges through the open door to the top of the building! Lo and behold, there standing before him is a transvestite in full gay paraphernalia. He ask- "Who are you?"
The tranny replies " Why darling, I am Cess...... Climb to suck Cess!!"!
Please note : I do not have any issues with the gay community. I have many friends within the guy community. Every person has the right to be in love and to give their love freely to whoever they wish. I have a younger brother who was a transvestite at one point. I am not gay. I am confident with who I am and what I am. I am in no way putting down the gay community with the above joke.
Thank you for your most valued support : 
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and the many others who have given me inspiration on this wonderful platform!
Images sourced from pixabay, free clipart library.
If you found any of the jokes funny, check out my other post :
https://steemit.com/life/@skytronia/laughing-my-f-king-ass-off-big-time-2