Hello dear steem friends,

Before I start, I want to indicate, it's just a joke for relaxation. Do not take it too seriously! Enjoy reading!

Dear train,

I hate you. Every day you take me from A to B and give me - especially at times when I actually want to go home - always beautiful long evening wating adventures. Your warm, overflowing volume melts my heart and the child's ice cream next to me (damn I just got new jeans).

But really, I am grateful that you offer me free WIFI every day and bring me to the office and back home. Because I am so grateful to you, I would like to share a few things honestly with you so that our relationship becomes even better. Being able to count on eachother and trust is the basis of a good relationship, right? I hope you still hate me after this eight-point letter.

YOU LET ME WAIT

Sometimes you are so busy that you leave me in the cold. That makes me angry. Then I want you to stop for a moment, just put the brakes on, but you never do that when I want to. That's why I want to secretly pull your emergency brake. We finally play a different game than your ''do I come or not game''. Then I run away hard and you come after me. That is 'Hard to get'. You know, it's nice for a change.

I KNOW THAT YOU LOVE CHILDREN

BUT I'M NOT! So there I said it. At least not the children who were in you and who came from you. They always scream and they always climb (On me). On my neighbor. The only place they can climb for me is the rail ... euuh I mean the social ladder.

I DON'T GET YOU

I thought you thought hygiene was important. But now that I have known you for a longer while, I'm disappointed with your preference for stinking, sweaty people. I thought you liked clean, nice smelling people. I met them again recently, you know. I was shocked. They pushed their armpit in my nose when you were busy again. I do not understand why.

I WANT SECRETLY TO HAVE SEX WITHOUT YOU KNOWING

Yes, on your seats! I know you and your visitors can catch me, but that makes it so exciting. I've already done it. That broken seat ... It was me. By the way, wonderful that you so often put on a sexy uniform for me, I'm really not turned on ...

ABOUT YOUR SEATS

When you are gone, I secretly put my feet on your new seat. With shoes! Do you remember that brown spot on the couch? I discovered that dogs are apparently had taking a dump in front of my door. Sorry.

I must always be so quiet fron you and your visitors. You even stuck this rule on your window (what I hate). Every time my music is too loud, they look at me so angry. Even when I chew gum, I'm calling or screeming with my favorite songs. Actually every single time I am just myself.

AND YOUR VISITORS, I THOUGHT YOU HAD FRIENDLY FRIENDS

I think they are boring and grumpy. When we are all sitting in your room, they are staring at their phone all the time. Hello, we did not get a mouth for nothing?

DO YOU KNOW WHAT IS FUNNY?

When they sleep with you, they often sleep with their mouths open. With a drop of drool on their chin. As if they are a baby. Do you know what I want to do? I just want to have no other people around us. No prying eyes, but usually your visitors are sitting so close to me that I am going crazy. Do you know what I do? Then I open my bowl of lettuce with boiled eggs, broccoli and salmon, that smells so good. And that bag of carrots, which I then chew very hard on. Then we are alone more often, you know?

I FIND YOUR FRIENDS DIRTY, DO YOU KNOW WHAT I FOUND OUT?

That they all turn the page of the newspaper with their wet finger. As if they want to leave a stamp of their DNA in the newspaper. If you want to lick it, just lick it! Damn you have dirty friends!

But hey, although you and your friends sometimes are stupid, I forgive you. I need you. And you me. I know that you love that every morning I come back to you, after I left you frustrated and tired for the hundredth time. So let's both do our best to keep our relationship well, okay?

Big Love,

@SnowieD

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