"Therefore, the good of man must be the end of politics." ―Aristotle
Greece’s economic crisis goes on like an unbelievable odyssey with no end in sight, almost surpassing Ulysses’ travels in the Greek mythology, both in duration and incredulity.
But what do we know about it after all? We’ve all heard about the unemployment stats, we’ve heard about the never-ending referendums, the ghastly capital controls… Bail-out after bail-out, and preparations for more bail-outs.
Then at some point along the way, no one was watching out for the numbers anymore.
Now I know, the words “math” and “crisis” hardly ever go in the same sentence with the word “comedy”, but if you stick with me for a few moments, I think that you’ll find this essay both informative and entertaining.
Unless you are Greek of course, then on this case, just informative.
Anatomy of a Heist
The Jubilee Debt Campaign, The London-based group that studies heavily indebted countries around the world, came to the conclusion that Greece was right on demanding a more generous approach from its creditors, because although it has received an extraordinary €240 bn ($265bn) in bailouts since 2010, only 10% of that has found its way into public spending.
How's that again?
You see, only a tiny fraction of the total bailout money Greece received in 2010 and 2012 found its way into the government’s coffers to mitigate the fallout from the 2008 recession.
So where did the money go?
British news paper The Guardian asked precisely that same question, and it goes like this:
• €140bn has been spent on paying the original debts and interest;
• €48.2bn was used to capitalize private Greek banks;
• €34bn was used to pay for various “sweeteners” to write down government bonds;
• Less than 10% of the bailout money was left to be used by the government for reforming its economy and safeguarding weaker members of society.
Now, close your eyes and tell me you don’t hear The Godfather’s soundtrack on the background.
Give it to the Greek.
If this is sounding too Mafiosi too you, it’s because it is. It is not vey uncommon for both shadowy and legitimate organizations to throw in something 'special' in the mix to sweeten the deal and encourage their partners to sign the agreement.
The problem however, is that we're not talking about throwing in a few bottles of Moët & Chandon and couple of hookers here, we're talking about 34 BILLION Euros worth of... Well, let's call it sweetening material.
Most important of all, this is not how "sweeteners" works, not by a long shot. You sweeten the deal by offering an extra to motivate the other person to accept your terms, not putting it on their tab. These guys are doing it all backwards.
Believe it or not, they beat the mafia at their own game.
Dances With the Wolves
Picture this crazy scene,
You ask your friend Brenda to lend you 240 bucks to pay the rent. Brenda agrees to sit down with you on a coffee shop to discuss the terms of the loan, at first she agrees to spread spot you the cash.
Only that she claims that 140 of those 240 bucks will be used to repay her previous debts, for those times when she invited you to go to the movies to watch Gremlins 2, for that corn dog she paid for on that stupid Hanson concert, even those 10 bucks you borrowed last year to purchase that very questionable penis-pump made in the Island of Macau…
Long story short, $140 bucks are now gone from those $240 you thought you were getting, meaning that you're left with a mere hundred bucks.
Though you still have to repay $240.
Now you think you’re getting screwed, but what can you say? You still need the money. So you shut your mouth, grind your teeth, and inside your pocket, you realize that your hand is making itself into a fist, and while you’re still wrapping your head around it, she orders a Caesar salad and charges you for it, now a whopping $48,2 has disappeared from those $100 you thought you were getting leaving you with only $49,8.
Extra dressing for her, extra screwing for you.
And there you thought you were getting 240 Dollars.
Again, you still have to pay her the entirety of that $240 by the way. Plus interests.
Now you’re all dazed and confused, painful tears in your eyes, furrows of worry in your forehead, your face suddenly starts resembling an old Norwegian painting from Edvard Munch.
You can’t think straight anymore, you’re just trying to understand what just happened without lobotomizing yourself in the process.
Before you get to finish that thought, and Murphy’s law is already circling your location, and from there, things went down faster than a one-legged man on a butt kicking competition.
You went to the bathroom, washed you face, cleared your head, peed some blood, and came back to collect those miserable forty something bucks and get the hell out of there… But get this:
By the time you arrive to the table, you realize that she’s already ordered some coffee that will be costing you an extra $34. Because guess what? That cappuccino isn’t just gonna sweeten itself, now is it?
Yep, you even pay for the Aspartame.
Now, in case you haven't notice from her negotiation techniques, Brenda comes from a long family line of traditional loan sharks, a very long line in fact.
It is rumored that her great grandfather initially appeared in some garden approaching some naked chick and giving her some very bad dietary advice, it involved some type of fruit, a Granny Smith apple I believe.
Now I know what you’re thinking, why aren’t people revolting already?
A Nest Of Vipers
They say that semantics is a very important part of politics. As far as we know, semantics is all there is in politics.
So Greece’s government did what all governments do, they resorted to semantics to hide the massive cliff they’re driving their population towards.
So the local politicians began to flip-flop more than a spineless snake in a back-stabbing completion.
Swimming With the Sharks
And all of a sudden, the meaning of words began to change. The most hated word in recent Greek history has gotten a brand new name. The deplorable Memorandum is now baptized “social contract”
Yep, the social contact, which no one has ever seen and no one will ever sign. It’s like Santa Claus or The Tooth Fairy, but for adults.
No matter where you were born or where you grew up, chances are that you’ve heard a spin-off version of the legendary tale.
The negotiators have also changed names. The “ruthless blackmailers", the “occupation forces,” the “loan sharks,” … Have all transformed into “Our partners.”
Whoever that “Our” refers to
The despicable act of driving millions of poor people into poverty is now being called: Granting them a “bridge program.”
Loan sharking, what loan sharking? “Line of credit” sounds more appealing, does it not?
Oh, and don’t even get me started on “Haircuts”.
Now the question immediately becomes: How can they consistently keep convincing people to act against their own self-interest?
The same reason why they convinced people to walk virgins to the volcano, to eat human hearts, to drop to their knees and recite ancient incantations…
Empty words, the politician’s best friend and personal magic wand, the tool without the which everyone would realize that their powers are in fact imaginary, and that the asylum has been overrun six fucking thousands years ago.
I Remember How the Meaning of Words Began to Change
“I know there's no way I can convince you this is not one of their tricks, but I don't care, I am me. My name is Valerie, I don't think I'll live much longer and I wanted to tell someone about my life. This is the only autobiography ill ever write, and god, I'm writing it on toilet paper...
…But America's war grew worse, and worse. And eventually came to London. After that there were no roses anymore. Not for anyone.
I remember how the meaning of words began to change. How unfamiliar words like collateral and rendition became frightening. While things like Norse Fire and The Articles of Allegiance became powerful, I remember how different became dangerous. I still don't understand it, why they hate us so much.
They took Ruth while she was out buying food. I've never cried so hard in my life. It wasn't long till they came for me.
It seems strange that my life should end in such a terrible place, but for three years, I had roses, and apologized to no one. I shall die here. Every inch of me shall perish. Every inch, but one.
An Inch, it is small and it is fragile, but it is the only thing the world worth having. We must never lose it or give it away. We must never let them take it from us. I hope that whoever you are, you escape this place. I hope that the world turns and that things get better.
But what I hope most of all is that you understand what I mean when I tell you that even though I do not know you, and even though I may never meet you, laugh with you, cry with you, or kiss you. I love you. With all my heart, I love you.”― Valerie, V for Vendetta