Today was left home alone with a carrot.
I didn't usually mind being home alone but tonight was different
The carrot didn't seem the right size. The orange colour would flicker on and off also, so I decided to take a shower, and I had one of those shower radios. I started to get a little freaked out, like my carrot and I were being watched. All of a sudden, my radio started to go a little crazy, like weird moaning sounds, and it wouldn't tune, and it wouldn't turn off.
I worked out that the radio was somehow communicating with me, it was giving me hints in what to do as I heard voices behind the moaning sounds telling me to adjust the water temperature slightly.
All the moaning sounds suddenly began to sound sexual, I wandered what the radio was possibly trying to tell me... I looked at my carrot, but the carrot looked as clueless as it ever did. I looked back at the radio, trying to hear any other sounds I may have missed, but no, still all the sexual moaning sounds carried on. I then looked back at my carrot and finally realised what the radio was trying to hint.
I panicked and grabbed my carrot for dear life, his life was more important than mine. I had to find a hiding place for my carrot, just so he was safe from whatever is doing all of this...but where could I hide it? Then it occurred to me...My bum? What a fantastic idea! Why didn't I think about that before?
Quick!" I yelled to my carrot. Get into the safe confines of my bum! Once my carrot was safe I decided it was time to high tail it out of there. Because goddamn if I had to listen to an out of tune radio all night it would be that if I was enjoying keeping the carrot hidden.
I realized that I knew what and who it was on the other side of the shower curtains! It was carrot's child looking for his daddy!
Carrot's baby was crying and my feelings were mixed like a salad...I did not know what to do I was confused.
Suddenly carrot's baby grew an atenna started to speak. My carrot was being summoned by carrot's baby to go home to his host planet of Saladbar. I became sad because I was going to miss my carrot until he invited me come along. I thought about for a while, but decided even though I liked my carrot; I just wasn't that big of a fan of vegetables.