I'm hosting 3 comedy shows a week now and came up with some new Avenger's material. Let me know what jokes you like the best and I'll perform them Thursday night! Now understand, that some are a little dirty and this is rated R. If you are easily offended by things... please make like Groot and leaf.
If you're a die-hard Marvel Cinematic Universe Fan and can't wait until Avenger's, Infinity War comes out... then I think think you'll get a kick out of these jokes...
(Source)
Roasting the Avenger's
Kids bullied Groot in middle school because he was a Late Bloomer. · They’d tease him with pencil sharpeners, fly kites into him… · They’d even nail "kick me" signs into his back.
What do you say when your wife asks why you were out so late?
"I am Groot."
If you want a secret way to communicate so Vision can’t see?
Write it at the bottom of an eye chart.
When T'Challa's father died, not only did he become the Black Panther, his mother became a Black Widow.
Do you know why the Scarlett Which is falling in love with Vision?
He’s honest… her brother used to give her the run-around.
What do you call someone who stages male underwear ads?
A Peter Parker.
What do you call a person that can use his penis as a pen?
Peter Quill
What do you call a pediatrician that still sees adults?
Dr. Strange
What happens when you take your 3-D glasses off during Avenger’s Infinity War?
You get a blurred Vision
What three Avenger’s might you find hanging from the rafters? ·
Hawk-Eye · Falcon · Bruce Banner
Guess which Avenger everyone is nervous to smoke weed around?
Groot! It's rude to smoke trees around him. He hates Rap music but ironically his favorite band is the Roots.
Captain America is the 100-year-old virgin
It’s safe to say he has a Winter Soldier – the only part that was never de-thawed.
What would you call Tony Stark if he was from Flint Michigan?
Lead-man
What do Asgardian women say when they can’t have sex?
I’m on the Rag-narock
Ok... HAHAHA, that last one was a little dirtier, but I think it's funny. What do you think?
Let me know your favorites and I'll use them in my show this week.
Thanks for the help and thank you for reading.