(All pictures and gifs were either created by me, and/or sourced through pixabay or google images, and are free for commercial use, with no attribution required. Videos have been embedded from Youtube)
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The following blog is a parody based on recent observations. This creative interpretation is in no way aimed at anyone personally, other than this blog's audience, who I hope enjoy the experience!
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Ok, before we start, don't even bother reading the rest of this.
What's the point?
Life's too short, and you've got many more blogs to neglect, all in the name of quick fire, blue arrow clicking. So, you might as well just carry on. Hanging around reading this is only going to delay the inevitable onset of your mouse induced RSI.
However, If you're new to all this, then just follow the simple video tutorial below:
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Now, enough of all that, and on to more important things.
My steemit dashboard
Life-coach lesson 1
Followers are for leaders and following is for losers. Be a winner - Ignore your kinship. I only ever login to steemit to re-read my own articles.
You don't need to network when you have a rep score of 57
My next target is to hit 200 followers and then work my way in to minus figures when it comes to the following. (Is this possible devs?) Also, if I could hit a rep score of 69 soon, that would be great. I would then start using my monitor upside down, which would provide me with the added challenge that I need as a writer; it's all getting just too easy.
Life-coach lesson 2
Find a Life-coach course (there's plenty of them on-line), download the course syllabus, re-word the content of each module ever so slightly and then publish each one, in sequence, on your favourite blogging platform.
Are YOU ready for a revelation?
So, do you want to know the secrets to living an incredible life?
Well, it's your lucky day. You'll find all the answers you need, to master your own awesome existence, within the latest blogs from my showcasing series:
1. Doing my bit for human/gorilla communication with-
- I'm Trying to Save You Motherf*****s, Why isn't Anybody Listening?
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2. Giving the voiceless a voice in-
- My Life As A Pebble
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3. Presenting the first steemit community Séance' in -
- I Hadn't Finished What I Was Saying
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& in doing my bit to try and modernise the minimum age of employment, watch out for the soon to be released -
- I don't care That She's Only 3 Months Old, When Is She Going To Get A Job?!
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Well, funny you asked, I've actually been beavering away on a new project and am hugely excited to present to you a sneak peak of my new, groundbreaking series, coming soon (yes, you heard it here first) -
Take The Floor (exclusive peak)
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***Special Offer Service***
If you would like me to feature on your blog, you can find me on Fiverr and Craig's list - under the username's - "Copy&Pas7e" & "Goo9leTran5late".
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Please check out my latest, top trending blog, as endorsed by - account1, account2, account3, account4, account5, account6, account7, account8, account9, account10, account11, account12, account13, account14, account15, account16, account17, account18, account19, account20, account21, account22, account23, account24, account25, account26 & account27. Thanks for your support guys -
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As a final charitable offer to my fellow steemians, I also offer an author featuring service, where I generously host your content on my blog, in exchange for all of the SBD & SP generated, plus 25% daily interest on top of the generated totals that roll through up until the final payout, which is generally 4 weeks after posting. If this all sounds a bit too technical for you, don't worry. I've done the sums so you don't need to. It's a great deal. That's all you need to remember.
I frequently demonstrate these kinds of selfless acts, for the community. So, with this in mind, and in aiding me to further be able to reach out and help those who need it the most, this charitable enterprise would really appreciate support from - @largestshareholder, @thewhalewhisperer, @theonewhocanmakemerich, @mybrownnoseyour455 @BJ4SBD
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And if all of these incredible offers haven't fully filled your appetite for all things steemit, then it's time to get an exclusive, behind the scenes, VIP glimpse at my very latest breaking story -
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Oh, and if you leave a comment, do make sure that it's something short and generic. Anything along the lines of - 'great post, thank you' will do. The more it looks like it has been written by a bot, the better. It's concise, to the point, and looks great in my feed; where all of the comments remain uniform, neat and tidy. Thank you.