Hullooo! Welcome to episode twelve of the Sims 3 Legacy Challenge, a challenge where we make fun of bad romance over ten generations of Sim-people and hope that other stuff happens too.
You can find the previous 'episodes' at the following links:
| Intro & Episode One | Episode Eleven |
| Episode Two | |
| Episode Three | |
| Episode Four | |
| Episode Five | |
| Episode Six | |
| Episode Seven | |
| Episode Eight | |
| Episode Nine | |
| Episode Ten |
When we left off in the last episode the hyperactive and over-excitable Jennifer Kael threw on her boots and went exploring in the ancient tombs of France where she discovered a penchant for fine wine. She hurried home to learn to make her own, made friends with a unicorn, and fell into obsession with the policeman who attended her house to relieve her of a burglar she had beaten up.
Onward! 😀
All screenshots in this post were taken by me, 
Jennifer Kael brushed her teeth, then brushed them again, and then again. Living with slobs for her entire childhood had set her upon the path of severe obsessive compulsiveness. Scrubbing down the sink, she brushed her teeth one more time, grinned at herself, then checked the taps to make sure they really were turned off.
They were.
Whew. Panic averted.
Skipping outside, Jennifer came across the local mailman.
"Ohmygod, hello!" she screamed, "Do you have mail for me? I should have mail. Please tell me I have mail. Craig. Do I have mail from Craig? Do you know Craig? He's a local police officer. I sent him a mail yesterday. He has to have sent me one back! He has to have!"
"Dear God, lady, here."
The mailman thrust a parcel into Jennifer's arms and hastily departed.
It was a bill.
"Oh," she sighed.
After a few hours of pottering around the house, listlessly, there was a knock at the door.
"Ohmygod! Someone's at the door!" she cried. "Maybe it's Craig!"
"It's Craig!" she screeched, inviting the bemused man inside.
"Uh, yes, it's me," he mumbled, wishing he had stayed home to bake cakes.
One thing led to another and they soon found themselves in the Kael Legacy Bed, in their sleeping garments, and Jennifer decided the best thing to talk about after a coital adventure was garbage and how much she hated slobs.
"You're not a slob, are you?" she offered him a quick glare.
"Of course not," he replied, strutting out of the bedroom. "I'll take out the dastardly, horrible trash, sweetie. Don't worry."
Later that afternoon, Jennifer's brother invited her to his new house for a party.
"Of course I'll be there!" she shrieked, even though no-one was there to hear her.
Jennifer hurried to the party fashionably early and gossiped with brother Caelin.
"Can you believe it?" she whispered. "Dad finally married Auntie Isla. And they're already expecting a child! We're going to have a little brother or sister!"
"Really?" Caelin whispered back. "But Dad just reached the elder stage of life... he's too old."
"Maybe she'll stab him in the back like he stabbed mum."
Both emotionally disturbed from their strange upbringing, they giggled.
Jennifer began chatting up a random guest who evidently visited the same hair stylist... until a zombie sauntered into the bathroom and reached for her.
"Caelin!" she screamed. "There are zombies in your house! I'll see you tomorrow, bro!"
And she quickly ran home before any zombies could attack her.
A few days later her grapes finally bore fruit and she got straight to work transforming bland and boring fruit into delicious and delectable wine!
She stomped for hours and hours until each grape was squished to perfection, then showered the mixture with the bottled unicorn glitter she had been saving for just this occasion.
After several hours of churning in her wine machine, the squished grapes were ready... and the result was AMAZING!
"I shall name this finest of wines 'Unicorn Tides,'" she giggled, opening the first bottle and drinking the entire thing in under a minute. "Yes, yes, yes! It's so amazing!" she giggled again, opening a second. "Oh, better keep a couple of these to sell. This is supposed to be my profession after all."
She looked forlornly at the third bottle, then grinned as she snapped it open.
"Savour the first batch, sell the next!"
After selling several batches of Unicorn Tides, Jennifer decided to celebrate her successful wine by taking Craig out to dinner at her family-owned restaurant.
Unfortunately, as they arrived two people were outside protesting.
"Damned vegans," she muttered beneath her breath, shoving the crowds out of the way. "I'm eating steak tonight!" she screeched, slamming the door in their faces.
After drinking a lot of her own wine with lunch, Jennifer dragged Craig to the spring festival at the park and promptly fell to one knee.
"Oh, Craig," she slurred. "Will you do me the kindest of favours and take my own hand and slide this ring upon it?"
"Ohmygod!" he cried, in a similar pitch to Jennifer's habitual shriek, "Do you just walk around with that in your pocket at all times."
"Yes," she grinned, collapsing into his arms. "I'll marry you!"
"I, um... I didn't ask..."
"I love you so much," she murmured. "We'll be together for forever and ever!"
The next morning, Jennifer casually drank her morning coffee. After calmly climbing down from her breakfast stool, her hands flew to her hair and she yanked on the strands.
"OH MY GOD!" she screamed so loud the neighbouring city could hear, "I'M GETTING MARRIED!"
She whipped out her phone and called every woman she knew.
"Bachelorette party at my house, tonight!" she yelled at everyone. "Bring your fanciest clothes!" then, after a brief pause, "and swimsuits!"
Auntie Acacia was one of the first guests to arrive and quickly got down to business. Auntie Acacia has always known how to party hard and party down and this night was no exception. She ran over to Jennifer, picked her up, and thrust her at the keg.
"Drink, drink, drink!" Auntie Acacia yelled.
"Mmmmmffffffff" mumbled Jennifer, slurping every last droplet.
Night soon descended and Auntie Isla whipped out a bottle of Jennifer's Unicorn Tides.
"As both your Auntie and your Stepmother, allow me to toast you by showering you in Unicorn juice!" she cried.
"Stop, stop!" Jennifer giggled. "Oh, okay. Release the unicorn!"
Auntie Acacia stares sullenly in the background and wonders why there's no kissing booth at this bachelorette party.
After many more toasts and wine partaking, Jennifer whipped off her clothes and climbed into the spa.
Everyone approved...
...particularly the male dancer Auntie Acacia had hired at the last minute.
"YEEEEAH!" he yelled. "Flaunt it, sistah!"
After everyone had relieved themselves of their garments and joined her in the spa, Jennifer climbed out without anyone noticing and began to steal everyone's clothes.
This was truly going to be a night to remember! she giggled to herself, imagining everyone leaving her party and walking the streets naked.
"This is the best night of my life," the dancer wiped away a happy tear.
The next day, Craig suddenly found himself a member of Sunset Valley's strangest family.
But perhaps strangest of all, was the wedding gift sent to the new couple from Jennifer's dead mother.
"You're still alive," Jennifer whispered. "Then who the hell is that buried in the garden?"
Thanks for reading!
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