To reconnect goes through several connection plans. The first one that we will cover is that of connecting to your emotions. There is no order. We choose this first plan only because it relates to the majority of the forest internships that we offer.
Emotional intelligence
The term emotional intelligence was born in the 90s and arises in relation to intelligence in the usual sense of the term, that is to say our mental capacity, which, itself, has sometimes been divided into verbal intelligence, spatial and logical-mathematical. Just as there is an intelligence quotient (IQ), which measures this intelligence, there is now, since 1995 [1], an EQ, emotional quotient, which measures our ability to understand our emotions, to process them, and to detect and accurately take into account those of our interlocutors.
Emotional intelligence is essential for having harmonious relationships with others. It is the basis of another form of intelligence, relational intelligence. We will come back to this in another article.
How to be connected to emotions ?
The first step is to connect with your own emotions. This can be a long and even difficult journey for some people, for whom the belief that emotions are dangerous can be strongly held, due to old traumas.
For most of us, at least one emotion is strictly forbidden. How many men have the message “never show your sadness” in them? How many women have been absolutely prohibited from getting angry? Or, how many have heard “stop being so happy, are you tiring us”?
So sometimes it's so much easier to suppress all emotion when in doubt.
Yet they are messengers. Each emotion gives us valuable clues from the dashboard of our present: what is going well, what is not. Sometimes they can even save us, in the true sense of the word. Fear or anger, in particular, in dangerous situations. Besides, without them, I wouldn't be here writing to you, because none of my ancestors would have survived.
And until I reconnect with my emotions, I won't be able to decode those of others with enough finesse, which can further reduce the quality of my relationships with them. Also, if I am not in touch with my emotions, I cannot express myself authentically. If I don't put awareness on what I'm feeling, there is going to be a dissonance between what I say and how I say it. And the other will feel this dissent and their confidence level will not be as high. For example, if I say “no, I'm not angry” with a very aggressive voice and gestures, I don't give off the same energy as if I say, vehemently “there, I feel angry because… ”.
All the work will therefore consist of bringing awareness to our emotional state. Where am I in the famous wheel of emotions [2]? Is this a downward energy or an expansive energy? Is it pleasant or unpleasant? If I can already answer these two questions, I can already tell if I am in expansive joy, serene joy, anger, or a cold emotion such as sadness or fear. All the mixtures like surprise or disgust and all the nuances of each emotion (from spleen to depression for sadness, from annoyance to hatred for anger, etc.) are then located in this wheel, depending on whether you are more or less far from neutral, the center of the wheel.
The more I will feel at ease in detecting the emotion (s) that are present in me at each moment, the more 1) I will be able to welcome them and manage them positively, and 2) I will be able to detect them in the other and take them into account.
How can the forest help us connect with our emotions ?
The forest helps us to connect with ourselves and our feelings. Particularly in a sylvotherapy activity, where we are guided to explicitly bring our attention to our inner state through various invitations. In these moments, I am alone, in contact with my authenticity. The masks fall, I have less need to lie to myself. Something can finally emerge from the shadows, and rise to the surface. The omnipresence of the living around me invites me to rediscover contact with the living within me. And so with the emotions, which are precisely the expression of the living in my being.
In addition, in the forest, sensory perceptions are increased and unusual. What I feel with my body, with all my senses, can generate additional emotional stimulation, such as wonder, sadness, fear, serenity, or other (it depends on my background and the circumstances of the moment), and these emotional surges can be so strong that I may not be able to keep them under the mat as I possibly am used to. The dyke can break, in complete safety, because silvotherapy foresees this kind of case, and I can release the pressure that has sometimes been retained for years. And thus, rediscover the taste of an emotion. So that then, it only takes a tenth of this explosion for me to recognize it, which allows me to progress even more in my relational intelligence.
At the same time, it is my level of connection that increases sharply, as I can more easily be in conscious contact with my emotions.
We will see in a future article how connecting to your emotions is the first step towards connecting to your needs.
Notes:
[1]: concept proposed in 1990 by psychologists Peter Salovey and John Mayer, and popularized by Daniel Goleman in 1995.
[2]: in fact, there are many variations of this wheel, themselves based on different models of emotions. There isn't one better than the next, what matters is just listening to how you feel in detail.
Sources:
Art-Mella - Survey and instructions for use, volumes 1 and 2
