We have all heard them before. The "nuclear option" in the bargaining world. The "my way or the highway"
Ultimatums are a crossroads in a relationship. They come as a binary choice that either ends the relationship immediately or prolongs the agony. They are the result of pent up feelings that are released suddenly as a demand. It's the dog or me! Either you stop drinking or I leave! What can we do instead of dropping the nuclear option on our prized relationships?
Ultimatums suggest an unbalanced relationship. One party wants to call the shots, dictate terms and make headway after a time of long neglect or personal suffering. By the time an ultimatum is launched, it could be too late. We need to find the root cause and communicate constantly. An ultimatum could come from constipation in the communication pipeline.
Ultimatums do not work because one side will cave, and the cycle will repeat itself. We know that for any change to occur in a relationship, a one-sided cry cannot work. Both sides must meet and negotiate without deceit. Ultimatums are best replaced with negotiations. Both sides need to compromise before one side launches the nuke.
Picture from Pixabay.