Not so long ago, gender was something used in grammar. Then the psychological community used gender to define personality. A number of years ago, I was disgusted when a school board changed the word sex for gender on a registration form. This wasn't because of political correctness it was because of as you said people being Victorian (which is really ironic because Victoria really really liked sex).
RE: Gender bender: why we would be better off talking only about "sex" and doing away with "gender"