Boys and Girls ARE Different
Hundreds of studies over decades show consistent sex differences in innate behaviors and abilities, such as spatial recognition, facial recognition, attention, word memory, name recognition, preference in toys, verbal acuity, fine and gross motor skills, navigation, and preference in activities.
But when it comes to emotion, turns out were are more alike than we thought! Multiple new studies show a scary similarity between men and women -- at least, from an emotional standpoint. And these studies seem to be disrupting the narrative and normalizing emotional socialization in all genders.
We do hope that our findings will help to dismantle gender stereotypes
Little Evidence of Sex or Hormone Influences on Emotional Variability - Adriene M. Beltz
FEELING Emotions
Robert Blum, a professor of public health and pediatrics at Johns Hopkins University, with a focus on gender socialization in early adolescence, does not believe women are more emotional than men. He explains that we are undeniably socialized to be so. And he explains this is unhealthy for men.
He explains how many studies show men tend to experience MORE intense emotion than women, and are more sensitive with regard to relationships, business partnerships, convictions, being in love, break ups, and betrayal.
This intensity might explain the "dismissive avoidant" issue so many women complain of about their partners. It is not that men feel nothing. It is that they feel too much, with no healthy outlet, so they shut down. But the fact remains, boys feel the same things as girls.
Blum is not the only one repeating this. Kateri McRae, Kevin N. Ochsner, Iris B. Mauss, John J. D. Gabrieli, and James J. Gross take similar stances in their fMRI Study of Cognitive Reappraisal
study.
You can also find a list of articles at the end of this post on the subject of male emotion and the ramifications of unhealthy societal stereotypes.
PROCESSING Emotions
So the question is not whether men have the same level or gamut of emotions. We now know with an abundance of clarity at this point that they do. The question is whether men are biologically ill-equipped to process these emotions, giving them a "pass" as we always have, or whether society simply relegates men to the corner unjustly, creating a self-fulfilling cycle.
One study A "His" or "Hers" Brain Structure? shows that at least structurally in the brain, men and women process emotion differently, and it could be why men tend to repress and be avoidant and averse in women's eyes.
The study focuses on the blood flow to certain areas of the brain during emotion and during resting state (connoting "innate" state of brain).
John Gabrieli, a neuroscientist at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology in Cambridge, believes that in this study that for men, "It seems that there's a stronger coupling ... [for] dealing with stuff out there in the world" versus internally with emotion. And for the women, it is clear the blood flows more readily to the emotional processing centers of the brain while at rest -- which suggests the "innate" state of the brain to tend toward emotionality, rather than logic.
Summary of resting or "default" state:
| WOMEN RESTING STATE | MEN RESTING STATE |
|---|---|
| blood flow to left of amygdala | blood flow to right of amygdala |
| blood flow to hypothalamus and cyngulate girus (affects feelings) | blood flow to motor and visual areas (interacting with world) |
Other studies show the Corpus Collosum (the gap between hemispheres) is far greater in men than in women, resulting in a decreased communication between the right and left hemispheres. While women have the capacity to be creative and logical simultaneously, men have a greater capacity to only be logical. This may also have an impact on a man's ability to process emotion. Two Minds: The cognitive differences between men and women
Furthermore, certain hormones (such as testosterone), are generally relegated to interpreting data, and fight or flight, rather than processing and feeling emotion Two Minds...
Additionally, apparently certain hormones make men better at side-by-side limited eye-contact conversations, while women do better face to face The Difference Between Men and Women: Is It All in the Brain?
All of these findings make a good case that men should be given a pass emotionally. Until recently. Outdated theories about men and emotions are trumped by new studies that show structural and biological differences have less impact than we thought, and men may actually be BETTER at processing emotion by default.
In Gender Differences in Emotion Regulation: An fMRI Study of Cognitive Reappraisal, the conclusion seems to be that men and women show comparable ability within the amygdala to process emotion, despite the fact that men flow to the visual and spatial cortex, while women flow to the emotional cortex.
Not only this, but men did BETTER at processing emotion!
Neurally, we found that men and women show comparable amygdala response to the negative images...[however] men are able to use regulation with greater efficiency, or less effort, than women....[while] women up-regulate positive emotion to a greater extent than men when attempting to down-regulate negative emotion.
These authors go on to say that not only should we stop jumping to conclusions about men's inability to process and feel emotion, but multiple studies have been done proving that there is NO indication of difference in processing or responding to emotion.
There are just as many reports that do NOT indicate that there are sex differences in responding (Katkin & Hoffman, 1976; Kelly, Tyrka, Anderson, Price, & Carpenter, 2008; Vrana & Rollock, 2002).
fMRI Study of Cognitive Reappraisal
All this to say, processing tends to all balance out. While men tend to regulate negative emotion BETTER, Women tend to think more positively, resulting in regulation of negative emotion. But men structurally speaking can process emotion better than women.
He's a Dude. Dude's Can't Do That
Well, I guess that's not true anymore. We simply cannot make this statement and also be scientifically accurate. We know we have the same gamut and breadth of emotions. We can conclude that men structurally process emotion as well as, if not more easily than women.
The only thing that remains are behavioral and social expectations, which are LEARNED. Perhaps we need to look at studies showing HOW men and women process and whether this needs to change, it is still unclear. But at the very least, we need to stop crippling our men with the idea that they don't have emotions, or that they should not experience them or talk about them. This is a huge devastation to our society, and a grave disadvantage to men.
We do know that having healthy emotional IQ and self awareness makes us STRONGER as a human race. It means we will be more able to form complete and trusting relationships, more able to cope with stress, reduce anxiety, resulting in better health and more meaningful lives overall.
Wouldn't it just be super weird if the emotional roles were switched. Even for a day? Could you imagine!
Articles saying why men should cry too:
New research shows men are just as emotional as women
Study shows men, women share similar emotional highs and lows
Men Are Just As Emotional As Women, Study Suggests
Gender Differences in Emotion Regulation: An fMRI Study of Cognitive Reappraisal