Ponder this as you begin to read: Being a good man does not make a gentleman.
What is your general conception of what a man is? Someone who can fix a car? Someone who enjoys a good glass of whiskey? We all know the best way to enjoy a good glass of whiskey is neat, but that's for another time and post. Perhaps, a man is the individual that does the heavy lifting? Does the thought that a man is someone who acts completely selfless come to mind at all?
That last question is one that is most complete, but not necessarily the definition of a man. No. A man is impressionable, can be self-seeking, largely independent, and mostly afraid of commitment. The last question is the definition of a gentleman. You see, being a gentleman is a craft. That, just like any other craft, takes time, appreciation for the craft, and application to be perfected. The ability to put others' interests ahead of oneself, eating slices of humble pie, and lending a helping hand to another in need, are traits that a gentleman embodies.
But if being a gentleman is a craft, then how does one begin the road to mastery?
I was recently watching a video of a speech from U.S. Navy Adm. William H. McCraven, and it was amazing how he started.
"If you want to change the world, start off by making your bed."
Now I know, and so do those who have seen this speech, that this specific speech was regarding making the world a better place. But one must follow the general theme that one good deed leads to another, and then another, and soon you are in the domino effect. And wouldn't the world be a better place with a few more gentlemen?
For me, it begins with showing respect to every individual as ma'am or sir. This does get me the age old "you make me feel old" line, but simply apologize and be persistent. I promise that these two simple words catch on with people, and they begin to appreciate the respect. Pretty soon, you realize that this turns in to holding doors for people, giving a hat tip to say "good day", and even seeing how people's days are brighter because of these small gestures.
Before I close out, let me refer back to something, just to avoid any confusion. A gentleman is not something that we men must exemplify at all times. It is still acceptable to be self-seeking and pursue independence from time to time. We all need that great alone time to refresh ourselves. Let's face it, doing anything all the time can be rather exhausting. What I am saying is that being a gentleman, is something, that when the time calls, we are able to empathize and place ourselves in one's shoes.
What does a gentleman look like in a relationship? Stay tuned for that post soon...
Thanks for tuning in today folks, and that is your Daily Dose of Dapperness!