I was asked to go to Germany with work on a two year secondment. At first I said no but then they made me an offer I couldn't refuse. My girlfriend(now my wife ) was not happy but we hadn't a penny saved for our future so I thought it was a great way to save as the job paid for everything and the package would go towards a house . I always wanted to live abroad so it was on my bucket list. If I stayed I would of been one of the what if brigade with regrets.
So it was agreed. 3 year secondment with a choice of staying. Every year I stayed out they would double the bonus I was going to do the 3 years. I was determined to stay there and come back with a language under my belt . I was heading on the 12th July 2011. I was excited. My girlfriend was miserable. She decided to take a sabbatical from work and came with me for a year. She stuck by me , many wouldn't . So I went over first to get my bearings.
The company had got me lessons before I left so I wouldn't be running home. The Germans have very good English but they are in their own country and they naturally prefer to speak German. I was told if you make the effort then they will be happy to reply in English which is somewhat true. Also every German starts off with "My English is not that good but " and then they would bleat the head off you in perfect diction. One German person said the not very good at English line followed by the word 'jocular' in a sentence so you get my drift. I still don't know what that word means. The fuckers had better English than William Shakespeare.
Anyway I landed in Düsseldorf. Got the skytrain to station and headed to the cess pit of Germany, Gelsenkirchen. My last sentence may come across a bit harsh on poor aul Gelsen but ask any German and they have stronger words. Known to be one of the dreariest cities in Germany if not Europe and it lived up to the rave reviews. It wasn't a nice place at all. Lots of high rise flats. An air that Germany as a nation was descending into a different type of Germany.A very dangerous one. The zoo was class though. I loved their zoo. Their bear was the biggest animal I've ever seen.
Said bear ! Alot larger in real life
The store in Gelsen was raking it in. Something mad like 60 million trading off two floors in its first year. It was the perfect place for Primark because the city was extremely impoverished. It wasn't expected though . I had to go there before Dortmund opened to plan the new store and meet my team. They gave me time to look for a flat so I went to Dortmund to find somewhere to live.I found a place and lived there for a few months but I wasn't mad about there either. I lived over a bowling alley which was under another bowling alley! Joking! The city down the road Essen had a massive Irish pub called FritzPatricks. I frequented it every weekend . All the lads behind the bar in there were Irish and those who weren't used "Jaysus "an awful lot so they were Irish in my book. . Sold I was gonna live here. All the cities in the Ruhrgebiet were very close. 30 cities in fact within a 100 mile radius. No wonder they have a good train system.
I loved the area around the pub Ruttenscheid and Martinstrasse. It was a street full of bars and restaurants and the street is lined with tree's like a leafy affluent neighbourhood. Every year they have the Ruhr fest music festival on June bank holiday weekend where thousands come for the street music. You should try it sometime. The Messa Gruga conference centre was nearby so there was many events on every week and the centre had a park and a beer garden. It was just a fantastic place in the summer and the xmas markets made it nice an scenic in the winter.
When I arrived in Essen I knew nobody so off I went to the Irish pub to make a few friends. I had never walked into a pub on my own until that moment. In Ireland only the auld lads did it. My father for example goes to the local on his own.Talks to the young lads and some old lads then all of a sudden they are all chatting and watching the match together. Its great. Most of the young lads wouldn't for fear someone would say you have no friends. Right. Here goes nothing. Sat up at the bar. "eine große bier bitte ". "What?" said a Navan accent. "You're German is shit, Pint yeah?" . "Yeah". Ray the barman who is now one of my best friends didn't know I was not passing through but we had a chat and he told me there were a load of Irish lads around. A German guy a bit older than me sat in stool next to me. He had a long kind of brown leathery trench coat and a scarf that I wouldn't of got away with. "Nice Jacket " I said. And that was it. We had a chat . Made friends. Was scared he was gay and was out looking for a ride but he soon told me he was married and I was invited to dinner the next evening with him and his wife. (Still a bit sketchy at this stage but Ray told me he was alright )Thorsten and Irina. What a couple. He was a talented musician and she was a sweet Romanian with long dark hair and brown eyes. One night myself and Thorsten went out for a night and ended up in some house in a neighbouring city not knowing how we got there. One of the funnier moments was Thorsten trying to figure out on the street whereabout in Essen we were when in fact we were in Düsseldorf. The last thing both of us remember is a bottle of Hungarian vodka called Palinka in a pub called madame Chocolates playing jenga with a student. Thorsten subsequently wrote a song on our escapade. A real cheesy one. He included the lyrics "If you can remember then you didn't have a good party" I will include the video below. Got high enough in the local charts I am told. Have a listen below. I am mentioned at start of second verse. I quite like the song.
Thorsten knew everyone so it wasn't long until I had a solid network of friends. I still lived in Dortmund at the time. The lads from the pub decided we were doing the 12 pubs of Christmas. German beer was purer and stronger than the Irish beer. I was a solid drinker but twelve German pints with a chaser after every one seemed a bit too much for a little guy like me. After around the 10th pub I informed everyone , I mean everyone, that I was bidding ado. I staggered to Essen main station and hopped on a train to Dortmund. I sunk into my jacket on that cold winters night and put my ticket in front of me so the inspector wouldn't bother me. It was 10.30 pm. Dortmund was only 20 minutes away. The train was the Düsseldorf to Hamm line so I set my alarm for 20 minutes so I wouldn't miss my stop.
My alarm was sounding . I woke up. Coming into Düsseldorf. It was 8:30 the next morning. FML.😂
Map of my epic journey 5 times in one night. Woke up fresh as a daisy . Ra Ra Ri Ra
I am still in contact with Theo and Irina. They come to Ireland regularly and he often plays a song in the local pub. He bores the shite out of the auld lads with a half an hour talk about how he wrote this song but they always let him speak and any slagging they give him is friendly banter. A German guy in a small pub in Clonmel is a bit of a novelty let alone him singing "Its a long way to Tipperary " which is of course a song that was famously sung by the German army during both wars. Look up the film "Das Boot" for proof.
Thorsten and Irina to rock of Cashel last year!
