Hello Steemians,
I am starting an initiative to educate members to understand and practice Nonviolent Communication (NVC).
LESSON 1: What is the purpose of Nonviolent Communication (NVC)??
In short, the purpose of NVC is to help us to create CONNECTION that allows us to UNDERSTAND and VALUE each other's needs, and then together explore how to meet both of our needs.
On the other hand, if we are invested only in getting certain results, and have no intention to connect human to human, heart to heart, then no matter how our needs are being met, we are not expressing NVC.
For example, a parent might say that he used reward and punishment to make his/her child to study very hard.
The question is, what are the short and long term effects of using reward/punishment strategy???
Clue: You may think that reward is more humane than punishment. But both of them have the same intention (trying to influence others)
However, in Nonviolent Communication, we try to have influence not by how we can make people suffer if they don’t do what we want, or how we can reward them if they do. It’s a power based on mutual trust and respect, which makes people open to hearing each other and learning from each other, and to giving to one another willingly out of a desire to contribute to one another’s well being, rather than out of a fear of punishment or hope for a reward.
In my opinion, the short term effects is likely to be disconnection and conflict. In the long term, it may affects the child's self esteem, relationships, as well as their desired for contribution, cooperation, trust and connection.
The parent may get the task done although the child will not do it willingly from the heart.
The child shall be continuously angry when carrying out the task be it buying something, fetching water...Emotionally the two are disconnected and you should not be surprised for instance if the child is sent to bring 10litres of water he/she brings 8 litres.
Follow me, Upvote me and keep learning from my subsequent posts.
best
muba
