Thank you for sharing and thank you for your encouragement. This was actually the second time that I had a strong visit from her. During the first visit my youngest son was calling to me to wake up and make him breakfast but I was trying to stay asleep to stay with her. I got to hold her and when I woke up my hands were still warm from holding her. It was very healing.
I also lost my first best friend, my big sister six years ago from a GBM brain tumor. It was devastating.
My greatest lesson in this is that sadness and happiness are not mutually exclusive. I’ll never not miss my baby but I can experience happiness still.