Self-sacrifice can only be fully expressed when we fully know the value of the self we sacrifice. Many of us would gladly die for another person, but many of us hate ourselves. In this case, the value proposition is clear. And, in the ultimate act of self-sacrifice, once we muster the courage to jump in front of the bullet, deep down, we hope our end will finally bring us peace. Depending on which part of us our consciousness occupies, we hope for separation from the mind that judges us, or the soul we judge. To be at peace. Away from our accuser or the accused. Of course, smaller, daily sacrifices are much more common, and a pandemic.
Why do I believe this? One reason is that many of us are constantly sacrificing ourselves...for nothing and no one. We self-denigrate, self-sabotage, and self-obsess from a place of self-suspicion.
To die or sacrifice for another person is to trade one beautiful life for another. Is that success? Is that righteousness? Love as you love yourself, not more than...
I’m under the impression that we can’t give what we don’t know we possess. To sacrifice a perceived “garbage” self for a “beautiful” other is not heroic, it’s dysfunctional, ignorant, and a damn shame. It is often an attempt to create anesthetizing purpose out of thin air. “Live for something; anything!”
This is how tyranny, false religion, and all manner of unhealthy social and political organizations thrive. Nothing is more useful to a machine than self-hating people ready to atone for the sin of their existence.
If you decide to go all-in, take the time to know the “all” that you are. Don’t do it to atone for existing. Being alive is not something to apologize for, it’s something to celebrate and share. If you aren’t there yet, it’s okay.