I don't know that I could convince you with words, or stories from my own experience, or the stories I've heard from others. It would all be hearsay, just as you have experienced in your life so far. The best suggestion I could give you is to ask the question to the Universe at large, outside you, or inside you, to give you proof that you can understand and believe.

My favorite story in the Bible is that of Gideon. (The Book of Judges, chapters 6 - 8) The cool part of Gideon's story is that he doubted God. God told him to defeat His enemies. Gideon says I think You have the wrong guy. He asked God to prove Himself, and the Lord did, several times, and still Gideon wasn't all that sold on the idea.

We are allowed to question! We're allowed to ask for evidence! If you ask you will be answered - to your satisfaction, not to anyone else's.