You want to learn to catch a mouse?
Don't try to learn from a pampered cat.
If you want to learn the nature of the world,
Don't study fine bound books.
The True Jewel's in a coarse bag.
Buddha-nature stops at huts.
The whole herd of folks
Who clutch at looks of things
Never seem to make the connection.
— Shih Te (8th c.)
Gentle seas, does not a skilled sailor make. In society, we have grown accustomed to the idea that people will be gentle with us. We've grown to love the notion that when people are gentle, they respect us. I would like to propose the opposite is true. Those who put us through trying times are often the ones who most want us to succeed: If you have two children, one with great potential and the other with none, and you scream at the one with potential to make him see that he is failing but do nothing to the one with no potential, which kid's success do you care most about?
Those who are critical of us, expect us to be better human beings than we are. For this gift, an expression of gratitude is in order.