I thought it would be neat to remind myself of all of the things I have to be grateful for:
I know it isn't Thanksgiving yet but I honestly don't celebrate Thanksgiving. I do however like to be grateful.
1. Greg.
He is my best friend and I have known him longer than anyone currently in my life. I first started talking to him online about 13 years ago and we were friend since then. I recently moved in with him and we ended up rekindling our romance from a decade earlier so now I am dating my best friend and it is absolutely wonderful and makes me very happy. I feel very grateful to have found someone I can by myself around. We sometimes annoy one another but it's just because we are both aspies and we are both quirky as fuck. But, I wouldn't have him any other way.
2. The friendship I had with Beffy.
Even though she died our friendship was the greatest love I have ever known in my life. I don't believe anything will ever rival it. We met when we were 16 and tripped on acid together and laid in bed telling one another about our (similarly fucked up) childhoods. We stayed friends for over a decade before she passed. During that decade we cuddled, shared bubble baths, told one another just about ever secret we had, comforted each other through hard, hard times and laughed and had the most fun together other times. She showed me how much she loved me every day and that was something I really loved about Bethanie. After the sadness of losing her started to fade a bit I realized how lucky I was to ever have experienced such a friendship.
3. SO many other amazing friends.
I can't even easily count how many other close, supportive, amazing friends I have. Some of them I know online others in real life though far away. I feel I have a great abundance in the friend department and they've saved me many times over. I am not sure where I would be without the love, support, and guidance from all my amazing friends. Through all of my greatest hardships I was fortunate enough to have someone by my side time and time again. I realize this is not something everyone has and am very grateful that I have such a wonderful framily.
Like this girl, whose stuck by me during so many hard times.
and this girl who I have known since we were 16 and getting into trouble, being young and reckless and partying hard.
There's too many great friends in my life to give them all a proper shout out and for that I am so grateful.
4. Having a home and food, at the moment.
Though it is sometimes a struggle paying bills and making end's meet I am grateful to currently be in a nice room that is furnished and to have food in my fridge and cupboards and coffee I can make, even soy creamer to put in it. Greg takes me to nice restaurants too and I usually even get a cocktail or beer with my food. So beyond just basic food to survive I get spoiled with fancy meals at nice places sometimes and that's definitely a luxury and a reason to be grateful. _ People all over the world are currently homeless and unable to eat so I should regularly remind myself how fortunate I am to be warm and fed.
5. My large collection of books.
I love going to used book stores and buying books from thrifybooks online and have acquired hundreds and hundreds of books. Mostly, must read, classics but also a good chunk of s ci-fi and all the David Sedaris books, Haruki Murakami. A good bit of variety really. I currently have at least five books I haven't yet read, probably more like ten. It is really great to be able to look through my collection and pick out a book of my pleasing at any time and curl up and read. A lot of people don't even have access to education/knowledge and I have any book I could possibly want at my fingertips, literally. I am incredibly grateful for that.
6. Mouse, my cat.
This cat is one spoiled and sometimes HORRIBLY annoying beast. If I leave her in my room for even a few minutes she starts howling by the door relentlessly for many hours. That shit is annoying as fuck considering I sometimes want to sleep in my boyfriend's room but he has rats so she needs to stay in the bedroom. -_- However, regardless of her annoying habits she has also offered me companionship for 8 years and is loving, affectionate, playful, silly, and a general joy to be around. I love that little bugger so much I can't even begin to imagine life without her by my feet. I am, very much, grateful for her existence.
7. Being able to make art.
I am very glad I have been able to have time and the tools over many years to practice my craft and my passion and become an artist. Creating art gives me purpose and brings happiness to others who purchase and hang my art, or buy and color my books. I like creating and sharing my art with the world and my life would be very empty without it. I am fortunate to have pencils, charcoal, markers, paints, paper, easels. There were times I couldn't afford basic art supplies but over time I have built up quite the supply and I feel very happy to have the tools I need when I get inspired to create.
8. A semi-healthy body.
Though I actually have some pretty gnarly diseases I am better off than many people. I can usually walk even if only for short periods and near a bathroom. I can stand, stretch, use my hands for creating and while my diseases are chronic and incurable none of them are fatal. I am not facing death or completely bed-ridden at the moment. In fact, reducing stress has greatly improved my health and I am experiencing much less pain from my interstitial cystitis. I feel very happy to have this semi-working body even if sex is still for some reason painful.
9. Being in a state where I can get medicaid.
The last point made me realize I am now in MN and as soon as I get my MN id I can apply for medicaid and qualify. I did not qualify in FL because I have no kid but in MN I will qualify and can at the least get answers about my illnesses. There isn't really great treatment options for IC or endo (which may be causing the painful sex) but with a diagnosis there is a chance I could improve my condition at least somewhat and also in time there may be better medications. Just being able to see a doctor will be amazing. I will also be able to get therapy and medications for my mental issues. (depression, anxiety, PTSD) Though, I have not yet gotten this taken care of and seen doctors I will be able to soon and it will likely be life-changing. Being as I lived in FL for many years with no access to medical help I needed I definitely realize how fortunate I am in this regard.
10. Steemit!
Though, I haven't been blogging as steadily lately I still love steemit and it literally gave me the money for my move to another state and for all the furniture in my room. Steemit gave me income in a transitional time in my life and made a huge difference. I was even able to get myself a nice used DSLR which has been very useful, and a stationary recumbent bike so I can work out in a way that won't hurt me. I also have made connection here, have rekindled a passion for writing, have started thinking more critically, and have been introduced to the world of crypto-currency. I will forever be grateful for all the neat things I gained when I found steemit.
Heck, I love it so much I made an illustrated love story about it:
https://steemit.com/steemit/@lauralemons/steemit-an-illustrated-love-story
While I was writing this,
I came up with so many more reasons I am grateful and reasons to be happy. In fact, it improved my mood/mindset so much that I am going to dedicate one of my many pretty journals I got on clearance ('nother thing to be grateful for) to writing about why I am grateful every morning. I think this could be a practice that really helps keep my mind in a happy place.