This post is long overdue , since I cannot join irc.freenode.org #gridcoin without ban evading via my resources of limitless ipv6 /48's subnets and blocks of /64's each consisting of 18,446,744,073,709,551,616+ ip addresses along with my own ipv4 /27 and limitless VPS's I thought since many of the users read steemit this would be the best way to go about apologizing and being read and seen by the users it effected and offended along with those it did not effect but had to read it and thought it was uncalled for.
I am sorry for the vulgar things I said after being told I was a meth addict by our leader Customminer although I just celebrated 5 years clean and sober on 2/14/2018 I should not have let it offend or get under my skin and lower myself to his level. I should not have let his miss understanding of my asking if he decided to use foundation expenses to take a vacation to the BOINC 2017 Paris Expo. I was away for 2 months and prior to leaving we had spoken in the Mumble Hangouts about voting on the foundation paying for a few users to win a vacation trip and sending them to the expo. I came back and caught up on steemit posts and he was the only person whom had any posts showing off and sharing his experience of attending the conference. It was childish and unbecoming of myself to give NeuralMiner a reason to ban me and say the things I said after he had already decided and threatened that he was going to ban me , the things I said where not cool nor the way to be a team member let alone a team player.
We are a diverse global community made up of all sorts of people and ways of life , more than I can list and not limited to the types and forms of people I could nor should label.
With that said , there is often misunderstandings when you use a medium of communication like irc / discord along with steemit being text based. When we all are together in the hangouts and are using voice you can hear emotion and tone whilst text based its easy to misread and misunderstand people based on many factors one being at the speed one types. When a user types fast its easy to misconstrue and assume they are angry , even if the comment of conversation is something positive let alone negative. Myself although I type very fast have actually gotten slower over the years as I am getting old but still constantly gets taken negatively even when complimenting someone or as I saw today based upon http://wiki.gridcoin.us/testnet and commenting on the testnet gridcoinresearch.conf file changes making it much more involved and different than the standard client config file due to one comment , thinking that a user wrote it whom did not and actually commenting on how I thought one part was funny and the user whom is mentioned in it taking offense when he should not have. I would give the shirt off my back to most of our team and think I have shown that by the endless hours I have jumped up or bent over backwards to help new users even going as far before we had an OSX .dmg connecting to the head of peerplays mac via teamviewer and compiling the client for him along with the QT gui for the guy setting him up with homebrew and compiling all missing dependencies and how I would monitor #gridcoin-help and spend the time helping new users from ground level getting them synced up and running.
Our team seems to be a dysfunctional team and I hope this apology along with pointing out that we are global , English let alone American English is not always a users first language and this also makes things difficult and easy for a user to miss understand and take offense to as I learned the other day using " HIT AND RUN " talking about a whale user whom had a magnitude of in the 5000's where at one time it was the 8000's and seeing it at 5 thinking while we were waiting for a superblock 5+ days that it was an error and now seeing it at 1.88. I was using " HIT AND RUN " to describe attaching hosts to a project for the initial white-listing for the super magnitude boost and crunching it for a week and riding that boost and ditching crunching the project , I have no idea how he took offense but it happened as I thought it was self explanatory that user whom is not USA based nor am I sure if English is his first language misunderstood and I think was thinking it was a sexual comment and I am not sure how that could be interpreted in that way when talking about a scientific project let alone related to computing work units.
We are a very dysfunctional team , I blame this on the fact that team Gridcoin revolves around each user earning monetary assets and this causes people to be very self centered and only out for themselves not wanting to work with others as its a competitive market where we are all trying to earn as much as possible with the hardware we have to work with. Unfortunately the only way to change this is to Gridxit and give all BOINC crunchers the option to opt in or out of earning monitory assets for the work units they process and we are far from that let alone we need to get the Linux client to have a ported working Neural Network. This mean's we are a long way away from becoming functional and less competitive and more like a team , using as I am in Seattle Washington USA the Seattle Seahawks and how a football team works together , I do not see team Gridcoin functioning in the same way as a sports team ever unfortunately. In a perfect world we would be able to , we do not live in a perfect world and it seems impossible to get together other than the development team to work on projects together on relays between the many social media platforms let alone websites and other projects as it seems everybody wants to get their own single recognition and possible payment for the work they do and are not willing to share credit.
I know this post does not fix nor change anything but I thought these things needed to be said and I hope that the users I offended along with the ones whom were just annoyed or whom thought it was uncalled for accept my apology. I am sick of all the infighting , Thank you.