Thank you for your words of encouragement, you've helped me confirm my thought process in a sense. I feel as if I am handling things differently now, and that this part of the process is painful, but the pain is progress. Today I'm checking myself into a crisis center, I can feel it being an emotional exorcism. Though, I know that other aspects in my life will become more clear and beneficial after the process. I'm doing something for myself, and it's pretty non-crazy.