We all have them. Things that we do that we know...pretty much suck. Be it that shitty song that you rock the fuck out to in your car on your way to get a chocolate milkshake at midnight. Or maybe it’s the awful movie that you cannot turn off that you admit is the purest form of monkey shit ever filmed. Mmmmm...no...It’s that snack that you shove down your stupid gullet knowing it’s shaving years off your life or will give you a few rounds of super sweaty mudd butt. You know the kind...It’s your guilty pleasure and once again...we all have them. Guilty pleasures and moist bouts of the trots.
What I’d like to do today is share what some of mine are in the hopes that you will do the same. We need to get people talking, writing, and active on here again. I see the same 13 of my friends here active and the rest of you are either hopefully dead or severely slacking on your responsibility to blog with your stupid internet friends...so let’s have some fun with this!!!
Being inspired by 
HEY WHALES, I could use a little support with this. Please help spread the word to your minions. Would be nice to see some entries!!!
Anyway...here are some of mine...
- Food
Raw cookie dough is my jam. I don’t do it often but once in a while I will buy a tube of Pillsbury Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough and within a couple of days, it will be gone. I just squeeze a chunk the size of a fucking baby’s head out and munch that shit until I hate myself more than I already do. I’ve NEVER baked cookies from these. Ever. I also need to shave my disgusting neck beard. Also, feel free to meme the fuck outta this. Maybe that can be my next contest that nobody enters.
- Internet
When I feel like I’m in need of a good chuckle, I usually think of my insignificant manhood which usually leads to a good shower cry & tug. I get an entire range of emotions from that which results in a good climax, but when I don’t want to turn on the water works over the Vienna Sausage I was blessed with...I pop on a video of Fritz the Golden Retriever. I thought my son couldn’t catch to save his life (he can’t) but Fritz is equally as bad. This poor pup is so atrocious at what should be second nature to him it’s hysterical. I’ll also watch Will Ferrell Bloopers on a loop. “I can feel it...down in my plums.” Classic...
- Song
Ugh...I wanna punch my own throat whenever this tune comes on as I can’t turn it off. I’m talking about the super smash hit Happy, by Pharrell Williams. I could be at a funeral and the car passing by is playing this. I will start dancing (kinda) like a madman. Let me just set something straight here. I have absolutely zero rhythm and I am an atrocious dancer. I’m the whitest semi kinda brownish person ever. Imagine with me for a sec...if the awkward dance skills of Elaine from Seinfeld and Carlton from Fresh Prince somehow made the fuck together and shit out a colossal disappointment of dance moves. That accurately describes me when Happy comes on. Also I belt it out like Will Ferrell in Stepbrothers. I’ve been called “The Songbird of My Generation”.
- TV Show
I watch a lot of television shows in between crying and crying some more. I tend to be a bit of a tv snob as I watch a ton of riveting dramas and thrillers. Yet once in a while I’ll plop my tank ass down on the couch and indulge in some sweet mindnumbing drivel like Tanked. Tanked is one of those horrific “reality” shows that follows these 2 incredibly unfunny Johnny Lunchpails as they design kickass fish tanks and aquariums for people who have more money than all of us combined. They conjure up some sweet tanks but holy hell do they bog the show down with unnecessary drama between these 2 lunkheads. Either way, I miss my sweet tank I used to have filled with Stingray, Fire Eels, Puffers, and Gars and this is as close as I can get to those glory days for the time being.
- Movies
Before Michael J. Fox starting mixing drinks juuuuuust the way James Bond enjoys em...he was a supporting character in a flicker picture called Midnight Madness. This...is...not a good film but I absolutely love it. It’s about a dude who throws a killer all night scavenger hunt in LA where 5 teams are pitted against each other to the death! Ok. Nobody dies but there are a ton of great lines and gags in it so that makes up for the lack of bloodshed. Each team is based on total cliche stereotypes. You got the nerdy team, the party animals, the scummy cheaters, the chicks, and the normal schmoes. If you haven’t seen it yet, take a big bong rip and get some nachos and rent it. It is actually a really fun idea...it’s just fairly dated.
Interesting side note...when I worked at Outback Steakhouse in Valencia California in 2001, I waited on the star of Midnight Madness, Mr. David Naughton. He’s also from American Werewolf in London and a bunch of other crap. He was a real nice guy and we chatted a bit. I had to take the opportunity to tell him that I really loved one of his films. He was honored and asked which one, to which I replied Midnight Madness. He literally laughed and said nobody had ever told him that. That was in 2001 and I bet I’m still the only person to utter those words to him.
These are just examples. You do NOT have to stick with these categories. Whatever you come up with. If you can only think of 1 to list...you are really uncreative but sure...we will take it. I can only look at so many pictures of leaves and sammiches on here guys...let’s fun this shit up!!!
Thanks for reading & (hopefully) participating. Spread the good word folks. Let’s get some laughs. I can’t cry all the time!!! (Yes I can)
Blewitt
UPDATE
Thanks to the kindness of 