Get Mummy A Pet!
Is your mother lonely? Is she suffering from Empty Nest Syndrome? Does she need a friend? Has she too much good loving left to give? Is a man too big but a guinea-pig too small?
Consider a capybara for a gift!
Melanie Typaldos and Caplin Rous, with "rous" meaning "rodent of unusual size.
[The Rodent Image Restoration Society is campaigning to sue the author (above) of "Celeste and the Giant Hamster" for discrimination against the Capybara Community, and insulting a species in their own right, as protected by the Rodent Discrimination Act 1972. Capybaras themselves however had rather the RIRS put their resources towards discouraging pet owners from keeping capybaras alongside snakes]
Old People: You, Too, Can Make Friends!
Jason and his wife Ginny are both into exercise.
Jason explains his enthusiasm: "Strong pigs attract hot chicks!"
Jason and Ginny at the Gym. Professionalise your Budokan Yoga like Ginny.
Jason is a personal trainer and Ginny does Budokan Yoga for World Peace.
Their top tip today is:
Keep Fit to Make More Friends and Find True Love.
Also: for those over 70 specifically: find fitness fanatic Jason featured here and be inspired to develop your own work-out routine.
* Shocking New Statics Reveal: *
Lonely guinea pigs at risk of becoming gaming addicts!
ADVERTISEMENTS
ADVERTISEMENTS 
It doesn't have to be Valentine's Day for you to ask your friend (or secret crush) out to dinner!
Any day is a great day to take your friend to
⁑⁑ Plant-Based Nibble-Nibble Hut ⁑⁑ ‡
Delicious, nutricious and a delightful padded ambience that promotes romantic squeaking!
‡: strictly vegan!
New dating website for Guinea-pigs
Free for the lady-piggies. Gents subscribe now for only 8 SBD monthly. No dates-money back guarantee!* Unlimited access to pictures on site. Enjoyable even when not dating!
Take a look at our Top Dater of the Week (16 requests; 11 dates)
Miss Alma Peru: loves carrots, motorcycle rides and hairdressing.
Ambition: to teach oppositional-thumb-challenged guinea-pigs how to comb their hair.
Quote: "A groomed guinea-pig lasts longer in Lima."
* After a minimal trial period of 3.5 years. Submissions will be passed on to a qualification board. Please supply photographic evidence. It may take up to another 27 months to process your request. Short-haired guinea-pigs are not eligible for refunds.
Dating to Eat Works Best
Making friends is hard, finding a partner even harder. Most guinea-pigs settle for family constructs and hook up with their neighbours without any extensive dating activities. In fact 97% of 104 polled say they would rather stay in to munch their own hay by themselves than go out on a date. "You just never know what hay you might get served," one guinea-pig living on the Huellaga tributary of the Amazon deplores dating.
Two guinea-pigs (married in August) said they tried home-dating for two weeks on alternate days in eachother's homes. "It was very confusing," one of them confessed. It was easier to get married. One couple married upon meeting, "to cut out the dating drama," the husband stated.
Is there no future for dating in guinea-pig society?
How do dating agencies survive with so little enthusiasm, one may well ask? Are there any success stories out there?
The numbers never lie, so let's take a look at them.
The Guinea-Pig Journal's survey says 7 out of 10 Guinea-Pig Journal readers don't believe in dating as much as they love eating. 2 in 10 would love to love dating as much as eating but don't find it a realistic aim; however, there is hope: 1 in 10 date to eat! The Guinea-Pig Journal got hold of this avid dater and asked him a few questions.
This guinea-pig happens to be the director of the current one and only (on-line) dating agency for guinea-pigs in the Americas, "Squeaking Couples". He explains, their formula is based on dinner, lunch, breakfast and snack dates. "It works when there is food," he knows, without being able to specify which foods work best romantically. "We leave it up to individual tastes, but recommend carrots as an entry level meal to share. The crunching doesn't leave many uncomfortable silences."
More good guinea-pig romance news: the dating agency's membership has increased in the past 899 days from 17 to 35. One dating experience has even lead to an engagement after a summer of rolling in the hay at the foot of Machu Picchu.
ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT Have a wedding to remember through sickness and enjoy during worse times ahead with photos taken by .........>
Other animals may find their photographer here. Includes photo above.