When hope no one has to rely only on herself. And women are always know, slinging on their shoulders, a weight on life, able to break and the giant. And what is remarkable, not complain and pull, stopping sometimes to rest and reflect, and what is female, femininity? What is it, the notorious women's happiness?
The editors received a letter, and with permission, we publish it today.
"Caressed and spoiled daddy's-mother's daughter I jumped married in twenty years. Call me adapted to life, a good hostess could not even their own parents. Husband, the same age as me, lived too, like the feast would never end. And even the family did not change his attitude towards life.
I had to learn everything, and the first – to become strong, because my husband, like me, was absolutely not adapted to life. I worked, carrying heavy bags, learn to do household chores. And the husband worked in the security structure, dangled it on business trips with my boss, and then at the gym did, and in the rare free time resting in front of the TV or in front of the computer.
At first, I still tried to bring him to family court. Was hurt that we never go, spend a little time together. But he's on all my requests were answered, busy working or tired. Of course, I was bored, and it's a shame that he doesn't tell me sweet words, does not give gifts and flowers, doesn't help with the housework, and then I started to get used to.
Slowly learned how to home, a good cook. At work I got promoted, and I began to earn decent money. But the work took a lot of effort, because we have no money for nothing does not pay, especially women. We, for some reason, constantly need to prove that you take your place, and for this we have to do more and be better than working alongside men.
From work I come home tired and exhausted from the strain, and there is a strip of daily duties and still unhappy is the man who had not served dinner. But it requires high-quality protein foods to support muscle mass.
Our marriage was 6 years old. I over the years have ceased to expect from her husband any help. I even ask him to hammer a nail or take out the trash does not occur. Hope that it will help the Council can not either. When it was hard, not enough money, he said that I got out, so I got out.
I look good, because my work is important, nice dress, but it's not giving me any joy. All automatically happens. I rummaged in the memory and realized that for a long time already did not go anywhere, to any of friends not met – no, not just of time but of desire.
Every morning I Wake up and the first thing that comes to mind – what am I supposed to do today. Needs at work, home must – have! To cook, to clean, to look, to work wear, to wash, to wash, to clean. I still have time, but I feel that was some kind of a workhorse, sturdy, hardy.
I increasingly am reminded of my carefree youth when every day was pleased when I was taken care of, tried to make a nice, protected, cherished. And now I know if something does not make itself, it will not be done by anyone. My husband even Cup after yourself in the kitchen do not belong, and that wash, and there is no question.
I sometimes look at him and think, why would I want it? After all, he's no help or support, use. The money I earn more than him. And he reminds me of a thoroughbred with a beautiful article house dog, which the owners brought from loneliness. The only difference is that the pet loves the owners, waiting for them, fondled, and, in case of danger, protects.
Husband recently began to say that I do not have femininity, softness that I used to be affectionate and cheerful. At first I was angry at him, but then I thought that he was right. Only why do I have all it will take, when the strongest desire I have is to get enough sleep and rest so as not to see and nothing to do?!
I increasingly comes to mind – it's all family life or just I was lucky? At work sometimes share impressions, for all its troubles. At least I don't drink, no walks, no scandals – harmless. But I think he's – no! And I stopped feeling like a woman. Even if I divorce, who need me, such a iron and accustomed to decide for herself?"