One of the books that I am currently reading is entitled "7 Habits of Highly Effective People" by Stephen Covey.
In order for us to become very effective in whatever we are doing, we need to undergo a paradigm shift, and learn to look at things at a wide and different perspective. We can do this by adapting the 7 Habits outlined on the book. For this posting, I will be talking about the First Habit: Be Proactive.
Source: Franklin Covey's Store
People can be looking at the same thing or object, and yet see very differently. Oftentimes the difference is quite obvious, like black and white. It's up to us how we deal with things in our lives, with optimism or the opposite. The choice is ours.
The image below was used by the author to clearly illustrate how our perception and how we see things vary. Now, I won't spoil you, but once you have seen it, you will never look at the image in the same way. This is very much the same with whatever things we have in real life, sometimes we need to take a good look twice and see things in a better and fresh perspective. Don't take things at face value, but dig in and see its worth.
Now tell me, what do you see?
"Proactivity" Defined
The word proactivity is now a common term in management literature, however it is a word that you won't find in most dictionaries. Try to look for "Proactivity" and you will find nothing but the root word "Proactive" which basically mean "serving to prepare for, intervene in, or control an expected occurrence or situation, especially a negative or difficult one; anticipatory:" according to Dictionary.com. Proactivity on the other hand means that as human beings, we are responsible for our own lives. We have the ability, initiative and the responsibility to make things happen.
Everyday we are swamped with a lot of decisions, and the good thing about it is that we have the ability to choose. Highly proactive people do not blame circumstances, problems, struggles for their behavior. They take responsibility for their actions and their behavior is a product of their own conscious choice. Reactive people on the other hand, always want to play the victim. There's always someone or something that gives them the bad vibes, even as simple as the weather could turn things for the worse, that it affects their attitude and their performance. But for proactive people, it makes no difference whether it will rain or not, or that people will tick them off. They find their value from within, and because of this they will excel in every thing that they do.
Source: Entrepreneur Source
Taking the Initiative
One of the most common definition about proactivity, or proactive in general is "taking the initiative." It is somehow closely related with confidence. Proactive people will never run out of innovative ideas, their mind is always at work, looking for ways to reinvent the wheel. And they don't do this just for the sake of doing it, but to bring about change or maybe to make an impact.
Taking initiative does not necessarily mean being pushy or too agressive, it does mean that we recognize our response-ability to make things happen.
Listening to our Language
Our language is a very good indicator of the degree to which we see ourselves as proactive people. The images and the simple lines shown below greatly illustrate which side we belong. Awareness is the key here, we should always be conscious of our language, as this reflects our state of mind, how we see things, how we think, and how we will do things.
Source: Proactive vs Reactive
Circle of Concern / Circle of Influence
The book also introduces a concept called "Circle of Concern". In our lives we have been bombarded by a lot of things that seemed to concern us, for example the state of our nation, school works, debts, war, etc. But if we take a good look at these things, there are only a few that of them that should REALLY be a concern to us, this is what we call our "Circle of Concern". Within this circle, if we drill down, it becomes apparent that there are only a few things which we have control of or that we can do something about. We call this our Circle of Influence.
Source: Circle of Influence and Circle of Concern
Proactive people focus their time and energy within this Circle of Influence. They work on things that matters, on some things that they can do something about. Reactive people, on the other hand, focus their efforts in the Circle of Concern. They focus on weaknesses, the problems and circumstances that they cannot control. The result is frustation, blaming and accusing attitude which cleary bring havoc into our lives.
The "Have's" and the "Be's"
One whay to determine which circle our concern is in is to distinguish between the have's and the be's. The Circle of Concern is filled with the have's:
"I'll be happy when I have my house paid off." "If only I had a boss who wasn't such a dictator..." "If only I had a more patient husband..."
The Circle of Influence is filled with the be's - I can be patient, be wise, be loving. It's the character focus.
Source: Change Inside Out
Anytime we think the problem is "out there", that thought is the problem. We empower what's out there to control us. The change paradigm is "outside-in" -- what's out there has to change before we can change.
The proactive approach is to change from the inside-out: to be different, and by being different, to effect positive change in what's out there -- I can be more resourceful, I can be more diligent, I can be more creative, I can be more cooperative.
The Other End of the Stick
Before we can really focus our lives to our Circle of Influence we need to consider two things that merit deeper though - consequences and mistakes. In life, we are free to make our own choices, we can literally do whatever we want, but we cannot choose the consequences of our actions. We can only influence up to a certain point, but we don't hold the key to whatever things happen in our lives, there are a lot of factors that could mess things up. But the proactive approach is to anticipate, to prepare in advance; you will take things one at a time, but you will be ready for it.
Our behaviour is governed by principles. Living in harmony with them bring positive consequences; violating them brings negative consequences. We are free to choose our response in any situation, but in doing so, we choose the attendant consequence. "When we pick up one end of the stick, we pick up the other."
Of all the choices that we make, chances are we will make mistakes, a lot of them. The best thing to deal with this is to acknowledge it, the moment you have made it. Find ways to correct it and most importantly, to learn from it. If you do so, every failure will become an asset and will soon become a success.
"Success," said IBM founder T.J. Watson, "is on the other side of failure."
Making and Keeping Commitments
At the very heart of our Circle of Influence is our ability to make and keep commitments and promises. The commitments we make to ourselves and to others, and our integrity to those commitments, is the essence and clearest manifestation of our proactivity.
Source: PixaBay
If we really want to bring about change in our lives, if we want to become better, and if we want to embrace a productive and meaningful life, self-awareness and our attitude will determine whether we will reap the fruits of our labor or come home empty handed. Learn to identify the areas of weakness, for improvement and for development. Learn to let go of the additional baggage, things that are of no value to us and are just pulling us down. Then, as you recognize and learn to widen your perspective - we build our character, a better version of ourselves, that makes the impossible possible. The choice is always up to us.
“I am not a product of my circumstances. I am a product of my decisions.”
-- Stephen Covey
