Today is my birthday!
I thank God for another year of life!
But I don't know how long could I stay in this world. Who knows?
I was born April 9, 1992, at around 3 pm. When I was still a baby, I am chubby and bouncy. As I grow up, I became thin. When I was in grade school, my classmates often call me "absinera" - the one who rarely attend classes. I only attend class thrice or twice a week. Not because I'm lazy, but because I'm sick! I have a very weak immune system. My bully classmates will say "it's a miracle!" when I attend class five-days in a row. I am sickly, I catch flu and other viruses easily. Even the doctors before can't tell us why. They say I have to undergo more laboratory tests that my parents can't afford that time.
After I gave birth to my son, I got ill again. This time, I was diagnosed with "emphysema". Emphysema is a long-term, progressive disease of the lungs that primarily causes shortness of breath due to over-inflation of the alveoli (air sacs in the lung). The doctor prescribed again tons of "expensive" antibiotics which I took for a couple of month.
After the last dose of medicine, I had an x-ray again and went to a Pulmonologist. He said, the infection that the emphysema brought in to my lungs is cured but the disease damaged one of my lungs and these damages are irreversible. He further explained, that human lungs are just like sponge. It expands as we inhale. But one of my lungs cannot do that anymore. For short, one of my lungs is not functioning anymore, making the other one became bloated as it do the job for two. That's why my back is bent like a person with scoliosis. I can't stand straight. I am a "one-lunged" person.
I fail every medical exams that I took to complete my job requirements. So, I ended up being "jobless". I stayed home, looking out for my kids and rarely go outside nor travel. Walking only a few meters can make me run out of breathe. I cried. What more can a one-lunged person do?
I had a thought. I want to die earlier than anyone else in my family. It's because I know I cannot bear the pain of losing someone I love. I want to be the first one to die in our family. That way, I won't witness the time that one of them will be gone. I want to die, because I can't get a job. I want to die sooner, because I am useless and I don't want to be a burden to my family.
"I'm still alive but I'm barely breathing", literally.
But when I look at my children's eyes, I see my purpose. I see my worth. I found happiness.
This illness made me sad and miserable. My past is miserable. But I realized, why should I be blue? while there's thousands of reasons to be happy? I have kids. I am blessed. I have God.
Then, I seek for online jobs and found some. I found steemit. Later on, I realized I haven't found not just an online job, but a new community. New friends. New family. New social life without going out.
Happiness is a choice, so choose to be happy!
Everyone is facing different challenges in life. Each person encounters different problems each day. Each fight their own battle. But there's always, always, always a reason to be happy.
You better not frown, you better not cry, not because santa is coming to town, but because "Life is Short".
Always see the good in everybody. And be kind to each one. Smile. Bring joy and happiness to others. Because sometimes, happiness can be derived from the happiness of others.
Life is too short to be anything but happy. The clock is ticking. You're running out of time. So, go ahead and do what you love. Make friends. Laugh. Give love. Live each day like if it's your last.
Happy Birthday to me!!!
Let's celebrate life!
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