When we behave as if we already have everything we desire, we no longer have to wait for happiness! We are grateful for our current life situation and we often receive much more than we would ever have imagined possible!
Acting as if we have what we want is a statement that, "I am good enough" and "Life is good," which signals the Universe that we are happy, which then tends to attract more of the same.
The opposite of this is "I will be happy when" and "When I get this, then I will become that."
Thank you for being with me for day 179 of Happier People Podcast.
Act As If We Have What We Want!
When we act as if we already have what we want, then we tend to get everything we desire much faster and we tend to experience the joy from it before we even receive it. This is a reminder to me because I often have fell into the opposite.
The opposite of this is saying, "I will be happy when…"
"When I get that new car I will be happy."
"When I get that new job I will be happy."
"When I get a business that makes this much money I will be happy."
"When I get a girlfriend or wife or a child or a grandchild, then I will be happy."
"When I get my degree, my Ph D., then I will be happy."
The problem with this is life tends to reinforce what we already believe and life tends to give us what we ask for at the deepest levels, what we believe is true and what we expect to get more of.
When I act as if I already have a business that makes a huge difference in the world, life tends to give me confirmation of that. When I act as if my business is scammy and cheap, not worth anything and it needs to prove itself, then life tends to give me proof of that as well.
This was most apparent when I was single and I was desperate for a girlfriend. I acted as a single man all the time and it was hard to get a girlfriend I was happy with.
I consistently said, "Well, I'll be happy when I get a girlfriend."
The problem was that I would actually get a girlfriend, but I wouldn't be very happy for long over it because I had believed that I had to get something outside of myself in order to be happy. Often when we get things outside of ourselves, we don't end up being happy for very long because what we really need is the happiness that is within ourselves.
We need our own approval. We need to feel good about what we are doing. When we feel good about what we're doing we tend to get a chance to do more and actually get the things we desire. When I started acting more like a man who was in a relationship, when I stopped acting like such a single man, then I had girlfriend after girlfriend, and it didn't take very many girlfriends to have a wife and to have a wonderful happy relationship.
I started behaving as if I had a wonderful happy relationship, and I have now a home that reflects that. I have a roommate here, that's my daughter's room.
That is something I wanted for so long. I wanted to have a family and I wanted to have a child for so long. A lot of my life I did not act as if I was a responsible father, I did not act as if I was a good husband, and until I started acting like that I did not receive it.
My wife thought I was crazy because we were trying to get pregnant and nothing was working. We were going to the doctor and here I come home one day with newborn diapers and she said, "What the hell. What are you doing with those? We don't have a daughter."
I told her, "I intend for us to have a child and a parent will go to the store and buy diapers for their child."
Now, my wife thought this was crazy but the bigger thing that needed to change was my behavior because I wasn't behaving like a parent. I was doing lots of things like swearing all the time, like staying up late, like not taking care of myself, like drinking a whole bunch.
I was being what I would think of as an irresponsible parent. I was not being the kind of person I wanted to be if I was a parent. When I started acting like a responsible human being, a good husband, when I got help and started taking better care of myself and started looking like the parent I would like to be, all of the sudden my wife got pregnant.
Now nothing changed, there was no magical medical intervention. All of a sudden my wife just got pregnant after we had been trying to do so for a while and wondering if it would ever happen.
After most of my life desiring a child, when I acted as if I was a parent I received a child. That's the same thing with my business, for most of my last six years, I've wanted to have a business that's made a difference in the world. I've wanted to help out and do something useful.
In the beginning, I did not act as if I had a good business. I acted as if I had a new business that needed to prove itself, that didn't have much to offer and everyone could see that from a mile away. Every potential client could see that I didn't have a business I was happy with.
When you don't have a business you're happy with, you don't tend to attract clients that you're happy with either. When you have a business you're unhappy with, you tend to attract customers who are unhappy with the businesses they are doing business with.
When we act as if we have what we want, we tend to receive it. Here's an example of where I did not do this very well lately.
I just made a post on Steem at https://steemit.com/witness-update/@jerrybanfield/me-a-top-20-witness-usd200-every-day-spent-on-ads-for-steem-6 where I said, "When I am a top 20 witness, I will then start to give eighty percent of my earnings to Steem ads."
It's a generous offer, but at the same time, couldn't anyone make it? Could a witness just starting off promise to give a percentage of income upon reaching a goal of the top 20? What good does making a promise I cannot deliver on TODAY do?
Now, acting as if I expect to be a top 20 witness determines a different outcome especially when paired with the understanding that my witness ranking has nothing to do with my happiness. Going to rank 1 will bring no joy that was not available before I became a witness or in 10000 years when no one remembers Steem.
When I act as if I already am a top 20 witness, then I get started fulfilling my promise NOW as I just explained in a recent post at https://steemit.com/steemads/@jerrybanfield/giving-100-of-my-witness-rewards-to-advertising-steem where I state that I am giving a hundred percent of my witness earnings (rewards minus server costs) to the Steem advertising campaigns beginning a week ago now.
I'm acting as if I already have what I intend to have based on the belief that what I have today at rank 27 or something is good enough for today. I am not demanding that life give me something before I start giving back. I'm giving everything I have and knowing that will produce the return I receive also.
Now, I've done this well, with a different thing in my life.
I made this originally as a video and now as a post to remind me of the same thing.
You act as if you already have something instead of promising to change behavior when you get something. That's what a lot of us do, like when I was a single guy I promised to change my behavior when I got a girlfriend.
"Well, when I have a girlfriend I won't be trying to pick girls up all the time, everywhere."
"When I have a girlfriend I won't be watching all these movies that I watch."
"When I have a girlfriend I'll take better care of myself, I won't drink until I throw up and pass out, punch myself or someone else or kick a hole in the wall."
"When I have a girlfriend, when I have a wife, when I have a child, then I won't drink myself into a stupor all night, scream and yell, and play loud music."
"When I own a home, I will take care of it, but since I don't own this home, well, I’ll just trash it."
I've learned the hard way on this a lot in my life. I've learned the hard way by saying I'll be happy when I get something and conditioning my change of behavior and just even last week I did the same thing.
"Hey! I'll start giving twenty percent of my earnings once I get something that I want."
"I want to be a top 20 witness, and hey, when I get that I'm going to do some really good stuff with it."
That's the same basic trap.
Now here's an example this week where I've done a great job with it.
I am having a lot of fun playing my keyboard. I have this Yamaha electronic keyboard and it doesn't make any rational sense because I don't have any musical education or training for my whole life.
In fact, I have thought I had no musical talent and I listened to mostly music that could be summed up as just noise, shouting, yelling and cussing. Kind of like comedy musical almost. It's the best part about it. It's funny.
So I have this Yamaha keyboard and I've loved playing on it. I want to do music live. I know that I can do amazing music. I can create it and present it live without ever writing the lyrics or learning, or taking any more than a few video classes. Now you might think that's insane, but here's the thing. I'm acting as if I already am an amazing composer and artist. I am building my studio up as if I have everything inside that I need to do it.
What I'm doing, I'm ordering a bigger version of this keyboard right here. I'm going to have it right down below my studio set up.
Then, I'm going to order the Ableton live bundle with the push, so that I will have a world-class music set up right here in my bedroom.
I have my bed behind the green screen and it sure makes things look a whole lot different than if I just had my bed back there.
I'm building a world-class music production studio in here even though you would argue that's insane, there's no reason I should be able to make live music.
When I make music already that I love listening to, I don't need any validation from anyone else that it's worth listening to because I love making it and I love listening to it, and that in my mind makes me everything I could ever hope to achieve as a musician.
As a musician who is happy with the music they make and loves listening to it and has a desire to share it with the world.
A world-class musician in that category would build a world-class studio setup. An incredible live streaming setup that their listeners could enjoy.
Now, almost no one follows me currently for music. I believe someday that the music following will be the single greatest. That ninety-nine percent of the people following me online will follow me for the music I make. I've been having this little desire for a long time repeatedly, a long time, a year or more, to make music and I've taken some steps on it and today I'm acting as if I have everything I need.
Acting as if doesn't mean that you sit there and say, "Well, I have got everything I need, so I'm not going to ever buy any more equipment. I'm going to act as if I have a girlfriend, and then I'm not going to date or try to do an online meeting with girls or anything like that."
It doesn't mean that you just sit where you are at, and say, "Well, I don't have to do anything. I'll just sit here and I'll have everything."
When you realize you have everything that you want already, that you don't need anything to be happy, then it promotes a willingness to look around and say, "What do I need to do with what I have?"
It promotes a willingness to say, "Okay. A world-class music production studio would include a push controller right here and it would include a full keyboard right here, and if you wanted to be ultra-elite you'd have a left-hand option over here so you could right hand an entire controller on one side and the left hand another controller on the other side, and then have everything set up on a push notification. Then, you would do that all live on Facebook, YouTube, Twitch, Twitter with Periscope and several other live streaming websites all at once."
If you were a world-class musician people loved listening to, that had a gigantic following, that's how you do it and therefore I act as if.
Well, that's already where I'm at.
Now, what do I need to bridge the gap on that?
This is evident with the car I have. You cannot also be clear about acting as if. I act as if I have a car I love driving and feel good about driving and that has been the case for me since 2006 when I bought my Toyota Corolla.
I bought a car I loved and I felt great about driving and could afford. Now, often when we desire extremely specific things like, "I want to have a Lexus. I want to have a Lexus with all the features. Then, it's sixty thousands Jerry, but I can't afford that."
These are often programmed things that other people and companies have taught us to want because what's really nice to have, is a car we take pride and love, and enjoy driving, or a donkey we take pride and enjoy feeding, or a camel we take pride and enjoy riding to the market.
Each of us has different circumstances and each of them are just as equally beautiful. There's nothing more beautiful about having a Lexus sitting in the driveway than there is about having an old camel tied up out back that will take you to the market if it's in a good mood that day. There's nothing more or less, we are all equal, and humility is to see we all are truly equal.
When we act as if we have the core of what we want, like when I want to have a nice car that I love and enjoy, and take pride in, then I see that I act as if I already have a nice car.
I treat the Toyota Corolla I have that's over ten years old now as if it's a nice new car. I get it car-washed or I get it serviced. I keep it full on gas. I treat it as if I already have the car I want, and then I don't need to spend money to get another car when the car I already have is nice enough.
Well, that's the beauty of acting as if, that we're acting as if we're already good enough today.
We live in that culture and now that's spreading globally like a virus of not good enough. If you just buy another product, if you just get another wife, if you just get a few more followers, then you'll be good enough.
I'm good enough today.
I act as if I am good enough today and that's not up for debate based on what I've done.
Acting as if I'm good enough, this is up to me to decide and it's not up to anyone else's opinion.
It's not up to anyone else's judgment.
It doesn't matter what anyone else says.
I am good enough.
I am equal.
I am worthy of love.
I am here to love unconditionally and to serve.
These things are core values and principles in my heart.
Thank you for reading this post.
I love you. You’re awesome.
I hope to see you again soon.
I hope you enjoyed this episode of Happier People Podcast, which was originally filmed as the video below.
I appreciate you being here and I hope you have a wonderful day today.
If you found this post helpful on Steemit, would you please upvote it and follow me because you will then be able to see more posts like this in your home feed?
Love,
Jerry Banfield with edits by @gmichelbkk on the transcript by GoTranscript
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