As I sat at the bus stop and waited for it to arrive, I contemplated just running away from what has become my life. Within the first year of my move to this city that never sleeps, I discovered the truth; no one here gives two shits about me. The wonderful glorious city in which I was going to become so successful in, find my purpose in life in, as well as my happiness. The days hardly differentiate themselves from the next now. However, today as I climbed the stairs and dropped my coins in the always hungry meter, I looked down the crowded aisle and there you were. I knew immediately you were the only other passenger who would be traveling with me on this adventure. You were sitting in the fifth row of seats behind the overweight, sweating, only there because he was earning a buck, bus driver. You were wearing a t-shirt and blue jeans. As I struggled to make my way down the aisle our eyes locked, I felt as though I couldn't breathe. How many steps had I taken? Was I even moving? My heart was pounding so hard I thought it would burst through my chest.
I knew immediately that I could not forsake this opportunity; I had to break away from the drudgery that humankind identified as existence. The electricity between us magnified itself the closer I got to you. You stood up and then suddenly, I felt shove from behind, gaining an awareness of the rest of the world that had until now dissipated from my reality. I diverted my eyes momentarily, breaking the connection that caused this yearning to understand and know everything that has ever existed about you. Realizing the bus was stopping to pick up more lost souls, my focus returned, I had to speak now. As swung my head back ready to spill out my adornment of you, you were gone. My eyes searched through what had apparently become or even already been an overcrowded bus, only to see you pushed so brutally towards and out the exit. I watched as you began to fade away from my life, without my ever having taken the chance and utter a single, solitary, word to you. I was unable to shove through this crowd, which had seem to appear, from nowhere.
The bus began to move. "STOP THE BUS! STOP THE BUS!" I shouted, while flailing my arms in desperation. All of which, was to no avail. As I never had a chance of being heard. How could this be happening? The driver couldn't possibly hear me over the boom box that was now blaringly loud in my ear. My mind is once again racing wildly with questions. Where did all of these people come from? What street is this? How long had we locked our gaze? I have to get out of this mass transit prison. Where are you? How will I ever find you? I began to barrel my way through this godforsaken crowd back to the front of the bus. I had to escape before you were gone forever.
“AT LAST!” I thought to myself, as I come within ear reach of the driver. Desperate to break out of this newly found penitentiary I demanded the driver to stop immediately. He provided me with a brief contemptuous glance and continued driving further and further from my future with you. Reaching a corner, he finally brought the horrific vessel to a rest and I proceeded in my journey to find you exiting frenziedly I departed from this hell as quickly as I could. Pushing through the hustle and bustle and uncaring, crowded sidewalks of New York City. Running franticly towards where I last saw you; I continued to question this unfamiliar behavior and myself. How many blocks had I run? Do I even know where I am? What in the world am I doing? What will I say if I find her? I will never find her in this overpopulated, nightmare of a city that I thought I would discover my “true” self in, fifteen long, lonely years ago. Feeling defeated, I quit my sprint towards happiness speaking aloud to myself “This is insane”. “Your right, it is,” she said as she softly touched my hand.