Happiness is all relative.
My wife read a book on the 'happiness index' and it said something along the lines of you are happier when relative to those around you. I guess this is like the one eyed man in the land of the blind is king. It would also auger well to live in a smarter house in a crummier area rather than a crummy house in a wealthier area. Although financial logic would dictate you should buy the awful house in the good street, redo it up and then see real growth in your investment. So now I am confused!
We recently saw a programme about minimalism. This is similar to a book my wife shared with me on 'Kon-mari', a whole style of organising your life and its contents (a.k.a junk). The idea is that you pick each item (e.g. clothing) and hold it in your hands and say does this item give me true happiness. Alternatively do I value this item? The question isn’t does this item have value? If the item does not provide happiness, 'kon-mari' it and give it to charity, to a friend or ditch it. This way you distil all your life’s possessions so you are only surrounded by things and clothes that have a functional utility and that give you happiness. Don’t keep those unwanted Christmas and Birthday gifts. Don’t keep things out of obligation to other people or because you feel you should keep it for a rainy day. Chances are if you haven’t used something in 3 months, then you probably will never. Yes we could all be survivalists and keep tins handy for the event that could come, but unless that actually gives you happiness when you hold those cans…then ditch them.
Now the fascinating thing for me when reading the book and then attempting to Kon-mari my possessions and how I organised them was not the immediate change that did, but actually the psychological change it made on my purchasing. I am a complete sucker for bargains and am endlessly buying 'tat' because it happens to be marked down. Oh look a 12 in 1 screwdriver that fits on your belt. Does it give me happiness – no. Did I buy it – Yes. Why? Because it was marked down 30% and you never know when you could need a screwdriver. Anyway by going through the process of streamlining my storage areas, when I next shopped I found a certain enlightenment in my approach. No longer did I look at goods in terms of value, but rather the first thing that I could think of was if I buy this then I have to kon-mari something else. I already have a screwdriver set so if I buy this then which screwdriver would make me happier? Given I am equally happy between the two I may as well keep the one I have and save the money.
So I found a marked shift in my approach to shopping. Things now have to give me huge delight to buy them or else huge utility and I don’t already own one. Even reading books I now look at with a different eye. I used to prolifically buy up those books in airport departure halls reasoning (a) that it would be a good read and (b) I like books generally and would like a big library. Actually at home I do have a library and it gives me pleasure…but it is only so big. It has a finite capacity to hold say 400 books and alas between a wife interested in cooking, gardening and Victorian fiction and a husband into war novels, thrillers and history books – it is now full. So every time we now see a book the question is what book will be eliminated for this book to find a space on that shelf. If it’s just a case of wanting to read that book, then rather just buy a kindle version and read it. There is now no need to buy the actual book with the pain of then having to Kon-mari later.
So this is liberating stuff. We shouldn’t be slaves to the consumer orientated, advertising bombarded market system we live in. Just buy things that truly make you happy. This is why we still spend inordinate levels of our income on travel. Experiences make my wife and I happy and we are happy spending on those. Other people look at us and think we are crazy but then they spend on equally fruitless things. A neighbour of ours has an Aston martin and he loves his car. For me this is an absurd amount of money to spend on a depreciating asset sitting in the driveway. But he is truly happy and that is all that is important.