Getting over an addiction is like getting over a breakup.The deeper the love is, the more painful is the heartbreak. The deeper the addiction is, the more difficult it is to get over it.
When you part ways from your sweetheart, it’s very painful. You desperately want to get back with her. You feel empty and depressed. You want to call her one last time, meet her one last time and everything else stops making sense to you. Your heart sinks in such times, isn’t it? I feel for you because i have been in that place but in terms of psychology, what you are feeling is just withdrawal symptoms.
Yes, the same withdrawal symptoms which your brain experiences when you are getting over an addiction.
Dopamine is involved in both — drug addiction and love. When we are heartbroken or rejected in love, we crave our partner in a similar way an addict craves a drug when getting over it. Brain scans prove the same centers in brain are activated in both circumstances.
What addiction am I taking about?
Addiction doesn’t only mean drugs, smoking or alcohol. You may be addicted to any freaking thing out there. It can be eating, sex, masturbation, porn, Netflix, Facebook, shopping, stalking.
The truth of life is that millions of us fight our way each day and get out of the post breakup shithole. You can to apply the same strategy for getting over an addiction.
What’s the Strategy?
1. Break all Contact
In a Breakup: No meeting, no calling, no texting, no social media stalking.
In an Addiction: Identify and avoid your triggers. It can be a particular social gathering, an individual, a subscription, a particular place or even using tinder.
The best Strategy is to reduce it in steps and not at once, you can decide a particular time-frame for yourself and act accordingly. If you are smoking 10 cigarettes a day, you cannot stop smoking the immediate next day; but you can reduce it to 8 cigarettes. Then to 6 and over a time frame you can get over it if you commit and follow other steps as well.
2. Remove Memory Triggers
In a Breakup: Delete all photos from your phone, get rid of any gifts, letters or anything that reminds you of the person. Avoid visiting places that could remind you of fond memories.
In an Addiction: Get rid of the empty bottles, cigarette packets. If you are addicted to social media do not post new photos as it would trigger you to check the number of likes you got. If you are addicted to porn, masturbation or sex; stop watching sensual videos, visiting the strip club or excessively stalking your neighbor.
3. Get Involved in other activities
<Applies to both>
Do things you enjoy because many a times you cannot remove addiction but you can replace it with something far more productive. You need to channelize your creative energy to something meaningful.
Get Involved in activities that can engage you. Get out of the house, socialize with people, hit the gym, try swimming, join an NGO, pick up a sport, start a blog, make videos, read books, try learning an Instrument, try painting or any other thing that you have ever wanted to do. You have to choose it.
4. Get help
<Applies to both>
Read, Read,Talk, Reflect, Read, Talk, Discuss, Reflect.
In short you need to get help from sources you trust in whichever order you like. I have stressed upon reading because it is an ultimate source to get help. Reading brings you in the zone and gives you wisdom. Follow blogs or read books if possible. It is necessary to learn about your addiction — how it works and what it can do. Knowing the stories of people who have been through it and recovered from it will inspire you big time.
You can also talk to people you trust, listen to podcasts and watch relevant videos.
You must understand that conditioning your mind in fighting addiction is far more effective than any medication you will ever take. External sources will help you a lot in building the right mindset.
5. Build Resilience
<Applies to both>
This is the final and most important step of all. After you have gone through all the hardships, your brain will develop a unique ability. You can recover better and quickly from difficulties as your brain learns best from experiences.
You need to feel and use this experience to tackle difficult situations ahead in your life. You will develop a great sense of self confidence as a result of fighting and coming out of your addiction. You will develop resilience.
Will any of this work?
I don’t know, you don’t know; even the fucking doctor or expert doesn’t know. But if you are really committed to get over your addiction, this will help you big time.
I am in no way an expert, everything that I have written is based on my research and personal experience which involves careful improvisation. I have a keen Interest in psychology and functioning of the human mind. Anyone with a similar Interest or questions can reach out to me at vikram@hapramp.com
