The adventures never stop in the land of the morning calm. There was always something to do and always something to write about.
"May 11, 2005
THE ASSHOLE CONTEST
Went coimbing with Jo today. We got two slow morning climbs in between 9:30am and 11:30am before pulling in the rope and calling it a day. I had to get back for work starting at one and was not prepared to take another "very late" from my boss.
Since late last night starting about midnight, I have been mulling the situation with Isabel over in my head. Its nothing new really since I do that pretty much every day. I don't know if I really want to expose myself this much on the net, but I really have nothing interesting or new to write about Korea and this is something I have been really thinking hard about in the past three months without much success. More so in the most recen month or so, since I finally managed to find some peace of mind. Please criticise scrutenise and advise, after reading.
Here is one thing about relationships. When they start off, everything is suppossed to be taken slowly. You cant really rush into things, because someone may get hurt in the process. That applies to most cases I guess. People are so insecure these days, that the smallest movement, or sometimes the absence there of, will scare them off the face of the earth if that is what it means to get away. Once the relationship progresses a little, and people like each other, I am talking about romantic relationships here, things just get messed up. You either have to progress really fast, or fall flat on your face. Maybe that is my own experience but after a year of being together, perhaps even day in day out, people tend to develop some expectations. This is me talking from a male perspective. I have always been on the slowly recieving end. I pretty much never wanted anything more than what was. Blissfully living out the calmness and normality of everyday life with another person, happy or sometimes not so much. Just letting the days ride out. So this is me talking from the ground with my face smashed in after the fall. I completly misjudged the shift in gears that was happening in my relationship with Isabel. We were happily driving straight ahead when all of a sudden we hit a ninety degree left turn and just missed the oncoming traffic. I fell out the window, hit the kurb, kept on bouncing for a while and am now in the process of recovering from bruises.
The gear that came up was marriage. Shitt!!! Marriage?!?! Those were my thoughts exactly. Really did not think about it any furhter. Simply did not grasp the concept. Still really don't but I have done a lot of thinking about it. More than I ever have, or ever will for that matter, if this does not work out. I left Paris, thinking who knows what. Once again not really thinking my decisions through carefully enough and not really evaluating my priorities in their proper order. Coasting away in neutral. So to make the long story short, cause this could really go on for several pagers on a 48 by 41 digits Microsoft Word type paper. I have managed to shift into another gear, since the traffic was going way faster than my shitty Kay Car, and all the hunking was just driving me nuts, unfortunately the gear shift had a bad timer on it. The gears have not been greased in a long time and simply to slow. Isabel kept on driving left I fell behind. Her cruiser keeps on cruising and I have no idea how to stop it or turn it around.
So through all this metaphorical blabber, which should not be that difficult to understand, the end result is that I am up to the right gear but Isabel is on a completly different highway and wonting to turn on the signal.
Any witty remarks on this emotionally clemmed up way of communicating will be greatly appreciated. The level of sarcasm, dehuminising and belitteling comments will be rated in accordance. The highest scores on the asshole scale will be awarded with prices.
Enjoy this very sad part of my current affairs. I still cant believe I am sending this out on the net."
"May 12, 2005
NEW YET OLD
Some more curiousities on Korean customs. I have been informed of this some time ago, but really never thought enough of it to write. Maybe I have not been here long enough and witness to it. Koreans have the custom of greeting each other simply by asking if they had breakfast or dinner or supper, all of this depending on the time of day. So instead of saying "Hello", you get "Did you have supper yet?". Strange enough at first, but there is an explanation as for pretty much everything in life. Korea has at one point been poor and broken up by war and people were starving. I was told by my manager that peole litterally ate the bark off trees in order to survive. So the custom came in of asking if one had eaten in order to look out for one another, and it seems to have stuck until this day. One thing I am wondering about. Have you ever had the opportunity of responding to a "How are you doing?", with a "Good. How are you?", when you actually were not feeling all that good? Happened to me plenty of times before.
I had a conversation about this with Isabel one day and she used to trip people out at work by responding, "I'm not all that good". People never really expect that kind of response and in a lot of cases were stomped as to what to say or do next. The expression How are you doing, has become such a common form of greeting that we really dont consider its original meaning anymore. The question I am asking myself is wheather "Have you eaten yet" in Korea has taken on a similar meaning by now. Do people actually respond genuinely with a yes or no, or do they always, or at least most of the time answer with "Yes I have".
The gym I am using for my selfish physical gains, seems to be fairly deprived of foreigners and at the present moment what it seems to me, I am the only foreigner there. I guess that gives me the status of a token white boy. On occasions, those who are brave enough and whos English is good enough will approach me to make some casual conversation. Today I got the "have you eaten supper yet" greeting and since to me this has not yet had the time to wither into a routine, I responded with a genuine "No, not yet. I will eat after the work out." Well that got her stomped, well at least that's what it looked to me.
"Really?" she responded with her eyes going wide. I guess not the answer she expected or perhaps it just seemed like that to me. Yet my question still remains. Is the greeting a genuine one, or a routine?"
"May 13, 2005
BORN SURVIVORS
Buttercup and John 43 seem to enjoy my blog. I am glad that someone out there outside of my friend circle is actually reading this stuff. Apparently they have managed to maintain a long distance relationship and are planning on spending the rest of their lives together. I may be past that point however. I just got off the telephone with Isabel after an hour of talking, well I was doing most of the talking. I think I can say that I have tried everything possible with the limited resources that are available to me at the present moment, words. In a strange way it is refreshing to know that love prevails in some cases and that for people like Buttercup and John there is a light at the end of the tunnel and an awating happy ending. I have no idea where things will go. From the hour conversation I just had, things are not going anywhere. They may have gotten worse actually. So that's it for now. I guess things will have to be left up to mother faith, or whatever, from now on. Like she said. It's not like we are back in Winnipeg living only a few blocks away. It is the second time that she has mentioned it. Perhaps she wants to go back. Woudn't that be a kicker. I'll go back if thats it. Anyhow. Enough of this sappy shitt. Buttercup and John 43, thank you for reading all the best and happy trails in your future together.
On the Korea discovery side of things. I think I can understand the Korean psyche more than I knew. I can relate to their past. Being Polish, and given you have experienced some of the communist oppression, and have some knowledge of Polands past, you cant help but in a way feel that there are many similarities in the way people live their lives in these countries. From the limited information I have heard from some of my Korean co-workers and some other stories I gather that Korea has been put through some miserable times by other countries. Its been fought over, its been divided, yet still prevails. Poland has been through some hard times during and prior to the world wars. Germany on one side and Russia, or what was the CCCP at that time, on the other. Poland as a country did not exist during a prolonged period of time. I believe it was sometime between the world wars. During the years of 1914-1918 Poland was actually divided into three by Germany, Austria and Russia. The men were conscripted into the three armees and made to fight agains each other in a war that was not theirs.
Poles are born survivors. I believe myself to be one. Always doing things the tough way. Never really knew how to simplify things in my life it seems. One thing I am and always have been is stubborn. I may have that from my mothers side. I am not throwing in the towel until the bell goes, or the fat lady sings, even though I've never been to the opera."