In practical terms, Hawaii's strategic value and importance meant it would have ended up in one empire or another. The possibilities were Japan, Russia, America, and maybe Britain.

Japan didn't tend to treat its colonies very well throughout history, to put it lightly. If Russia owned it, they might have built a navy to dominate the Pacific, and thus have a foothold in both Europe and throughout the Pacific. They probably would have lost it to America during the revolution anyway.

If Britain grabbed it at some point, it would have been exploited similarly to how America did, but would be the weakest link in the British Empire given the distance from the home islands.

So I think given the circumstances, America was and continues to be the least of all evils. The cultural destruction should not be apologized for, as that was not a good thing. It might have happened with most of the potential empire suitors however.