. If I ve ever told u “I love you” and you
are from calabar . Please forgive me,I was
drunk.
-Frm research:theres no animal on earth dat
can be faster dan a lady who applies
makeup and suddenly rain wanted to fall
-Onitsha babes are very funny, you will meet
them in a taxi. You pay taxi fare for them
and buy them Yoghurt then exchange
numbers, And you will watch them save your
name as TAXI YOGHURT.
-Someone updated: “Rape is not a sin, it’s
just a surprise sex”. I commented, “may your
sisters & wife be surprised by men”. He
blocked me. Did I say anything bad?
-This is pure wickedness! how can i beg my
neigbour for one cup of garri and she told
me dat her mum counted it::::wetin dat one
mean?
-If u r fighting with an osha boy and all of a
sudden he leaves the fight and start running
around shouting “Nna eeh! Nna eeh” flee
before he complete third nna eeh.. Don’t say
I didn’t warn u.
-Boyfriend that cannot slap soldier for his
girlfriend, is that one a boyfriend?
-First day she leaves her top and towel at
your place, 2nd day she leaves shoes and
jacket, 3rd day she leaves her make up kit.
Congratulations my brother you now have a
wife.
-At the # ATM after waiting for 2hours on
the Queue, and finally is ur turn den u
realised u r holding ur Voter’s Card… The #
Witches in ur village will just whisper in ur
Ear… # Is_Our_Work oooh
-Bet9ja will break guys heart. They will still
forgive and play again But your woman do u
small thing, U tight your mind like lucky dube
dread. # Why ?
-I don’t know why some people would just be
making noise about their hustle. You hustle
reach Judas? The Nigga sold Jesus Christ
oh! Which hustle reach that 1 abeg?
-Some # Girls are funny sha, you know you
have # Big_Tommy and you will Wear High
Waist Pants and Tucking your Shirts, thereby
making your shape look like # Gotv Remote…
-Your # Boyfriend is on Facebook telling
other # Girls he’s Single and you here calling
him “Le Boo” “Le Boo.” You are “Le Fool.”
-If a # Yoruba_Guy , takes u Home to meet
his # Parents and on getting there they Tap,
him to come inside with them while you are
waiting alone in the Living Room… #
Aunty_mi , just forget it, you have lost a
Husband…
-Just b’cos of a Fine # Usher_Girl , u
dropped all ur # Money in the #
Ofering_Tray… Now u are looking for Lift…
-Hahaha…. Orisirisi…. I just saw # Aboki
doing Conductor @ Obalende He dey shout
“Obuualeyyyndey obuualeyyyndeh”
-Seriously # Yahoo_Boys , should be
Celebrated, # Politicians take our # Money go
Overseas… # Yahoo_Boys bring it back
Home GOD, bless every # Hustler out there -
Even #
Break -Up is not as Painful as seeing ur
Neighbour having Light when u don’t have…
Chaiii
-You want to be Taken Out every Weekend…
My # Sister are you a # Dust_Bin ?
-So, you borrowed ₦100 from MTN to Vote
for someone to win ₦25million in BBN?
Please, let us not argue this matter too
much, Just give me your Address, I want to
come and beat you in your house so you can
receive sense.
-When a # Girl says “Good Night”, she says
Good Night to You only… So don’t bother her
if you, still see her Online..
-Some # Guys , don’t really know their
Girlfriend Face, because they are dating #
Make_Up_Promoters …
-Abeg make una see me see wahala o. “I
attended a burial of my friend’s grand father
yesterday but their tradition is that, at every
burial ceremony, an old man would come out
and announce the next person to die, so the
old man said the first person to leave the
burial ground will be the next to die… I tell
you since yesterday we are still here at the
burial ooh and I supposed to go to work
today o….
-All you married women that will see a pretty
lady standing under a very hot sun and
refuse to give her a lift, don’t worry, your
husband is coming to pick her….
-December 25th is around the corner, and
Rice is still doing shakara….. Beans, please
we have realized our mistakes…. Have your
way in our lives….
-When your girlfriend Posts “Real men are
born in March”, But you were born in October
My brother, I understand . E dey pain but no
vex you never reach your bus-stop….
-Chei! Just because I borrowed a pen from a
cashier and forgot to return it, I got home
now and received a debit alert of #70…..
First Bank! My God will fight for me o!!!
-Teacher: I will ask a question and whoever
gets it right I’ll give my iPhone 6S. How
many men did Jesus feed?
Felix: 5000 people ,
Teacher: Good, take the phone and ask me a
question and if I get it I’ll get my phone
back…
Felix: Name the 5000 people….Teacher
fainted….
-When girls run out of cosmetics the next
thing they will update is….. “MAKE-UP FREE
DAY, LOVING IT ALL NATURAL”. And you
think you are deceiving Me Abi….?
-Borday: I heard u now work at the bakery.?
Akpos: oh yes. I started last week. Borday:
but you have never brought any bread home.
Akpos: Your sister who works at the airport,
has she brought any aeroplane to the house?
And even you who works at the mortuary,
have you brought any dead body home
before? Please don’t put pressure on me…..
-The difference between BATHROOM and
BAFFROOM …………….. In BATHROOM, one
can take a cute selfie. But in BAFFROOM,
hmmm hmmmmm! If your soap falls on the
floor, just forget it!
-Can someone please deposit money into my
First Bank Account. I want to know if my
alert is still working…..
-When a girl upload a beautiful photo. Her
main boyfriend will just like and comment
briefly such like”Beautiful”or “Cute”.
But awon ABELEJAYAN ( aspiring
boyfriends) will be shouting wow wow wow,
wow like police siren..
-Some girls don’t go to the gym, but look
physically fit because of running from one
man to another….
-Dear Bae, if you want to cheat on me,
please, do it with someone I can beat… Don’t
hurt me twice…
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