As the sun breaks through the blinds each morning, my eyes open with less energy than when I closed them the night before, my body aches with knots like gremlins had burrowed within the sinew and muscles across my shoulders, arms, chest, and back, and often a lightning bolt sears through the center of my legs as my sciatic nerve ignites.

Mind still foggy from cycling through stage 1 and stage 2 sleep and never reaching stage 3 (restorative sleep), the first thing I reach for is my medicine, cannabis concentrates. After medicating with a few dabs, I spend 15-30 minutes doing a morning yoga routine, followed by a breakfast shake made fresh full of all the things I need to process and metabolize the foods I eat throughout the day. Failing to consume this shake leaves me with severe constipation which leads to exasperating the pain I already experience, or with severe diarrhea leaving me malnourished and dehydrated. I have to be extremely careful of what foods I put in my body as my body tends to reject many different things, synthesized chemicals especially, and they either cause me extremely painful bloating and gas, irregular stools, or just an increase in the pain I already experience; during the worst of my flare-ups I cannot even keep water down.

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When these symptoms came to a peak in late 2015 I had given up on my health and was ready to take my own life. The pain was so severe I had trouble breathing some days. I couldn't eat anything, much less the things I wanted to eat! Making matters worse, I hadn't slept in over 10 years. When trying to share the experience of chronic pain, only those who experience chronic pain can truly understand; empathy only goes so far.

After many months of many different tests I was finally sent to a rheumatologist who gave me the final diagnosis of Fibromyalgia.

What is Fibromyalgia?

Fibromyalgia is defined by National Institute of Arthritis and Musculoskeletal and Skin Diseases as, "a disorder that causes muscle pain and fatigue (feeling tired). People with fibromyalgia have pain and tenderness throughout the body." These are not the only symptoms that a fibromyalgia patient may experience. Some other symptoms include, but are not limited to:

Fatigue
Headaches
Digestive Issues
Painful Menstruation
Memory Problems (Fibro Fog)
Trouble Sleeping
Morning Stiffness

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What Causes Fibromyalgia?

Empirical Science is coming closer to understanding fibromyalgia, but as it stands there is little known information about what causes fibromyalgia. Theories that surround fibromyalgia link chronic stress, repeated trauma, repeated injuries, illness, and genetics (NIAMS).

How is Fibromyalgia Treated?

There is no known cure for fibromyalgia, the only route doctors are able to take are those which treat the symptoms which appear and cause discomfort. According to NIAMS, "Fibromyalgia treatment often requires a team approach. The team may include your doctor, a physical therapist, and possibly other health care providers."

The most effective form of treatment is a combination of regular exercise and physical activity (as per one's tolerance), and a regular, balanced, healthy diet. Medications can be used in combination to assist symptoms which may need further addressing. According to Mayo Clinic, "Duloxetine (Cymbalta) and milnacipran (Savella) may help ease the pain and fatigue associated with fibromyalgia. [Doctors] may prescribe amitriptyline or the muscle relaxant cyclobenzaprine to help promote sleep." Pain relievers are sometimes prescribed, but are often avoided to try and curb dependence. Anti-seizure medications may also provide relief to some symptoms, "Gabapentin (Neurontin) is sometimes helpful...while pregabalin (Lyrica) was the first drug approved by the Food and Drug Administration to treat fibromyalgia (Mayo)."

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I wrote this article in hopes that others may begin to further understand those of us who have to live through life with fibromyalgia, and other chronic diseases & illnesses.

Many days I have to cancel plans with friends and acquaintances because the pain is just too severe. I have lost friendships because of what I experience. There's no way I can hold a regular job, I cannot sit or stand for too long, I cannot lift heavy objects regularly, I get tired very quickly. I am a very motivated and intelligent individual, but my drive is almost zero most days because it takes so much energy to just get out of bed that I have so little left for my hobbies. The nerves in my hands have been effected so that I can no longer do most of the arts that I find so much passion in.

Still I find a reason to smile. Days where I find myself spiraling downward, I find it very useful to write in my gratitude book several things that I am grateful for and/or pleasant things that occurred over the day. I hope that this article about fibromyalgia was informative for you. I am sure I forgot to mention things, so feel free to ask questions and I'll do my best to answer them or direct you where you may find the right answer.

Love to you all & may you all find health!

Works Cited

"Fast Facts About Fibromyalgia." National Institute of Arthritis and Musculoskeletal and Skin Diseases. U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, n.d. Web. Accessed 09 June 2017. https://www.niams.nih.gov/health_info/fibromyalgia/fibromyalgia_ff.asp

"Fibromyalgia." Mayo Clinic. Mayo Foundation for Medical Education and Research, 02 May 2017. Web. Accessed 09 June 2017.
http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/fibromyalgia/diagnosis-treatment/treatment/txc-20317826

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Life is Death is Life [Living with Fibromyalgia and Chronic Pain][What is Fibromyalgia?]