I’m reading the book, Happy You, Happy Family. It’s so good, I thought I would share my thoughts about it over the next couple of weeks. I'm going to highlight 10 practical ways you can be happier. This journey of discovery is as much for my benefit as it is for my followers.
And, following the last post, the first one who can tell me what the 10 secrets are to happiness will get 10 Steem Dollars!
Why you’re not happy
This first secret is about the right level of expectations. I think most of the Steemians out here are of an aspiring sort and aren’t in danger of having too low expectations for themselves. So, I will speak to the other end of imbalance, too high expectations.
Author and neuroscientist Robb Rutledge says, “Happiness depends not on how well things are going but whether things are going better or worse than expected.”
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/ambigamy/201408/the-secret-happiness-and-compassion-low-expectations
We all are carrying around with us a heavy load of expectations, but to realistically meet them all, we’d need 48 hours in a day, everything to be working perfectly, everybody to be on time and a good helping of grace.
The problem is with all these expectations swirling around in your head, you can’t help but feel a hum of stress in the background. And every time you remember something else you SHOULD BE DOING, your stress increases, and the weight upon your shoulders multiples.
What inevitably happens is you lose patience and AREN’T HAPPY with yourself or anyone around you. What you are getting done just isn’t enough and no one is cooperating to let you reach your insanely high expectations.
After this, you might stop yourself and say, “Hey, this is not the kind of person I want to be.” You apologize to those around you and maybe drink a cup of Mellow Moments tea. But, in the background there’s that LOW HUM OF STRESS building up again.
Get off the Stress Cycle
Ready for the big secret? Say this out loud:
It’s funny, but when I say that out loud, I find I do have a little bit of emotional release. In fact, on one stressful day when I said it, I seriously got a little misty-eyed. We’re not going to stay here long though.
Let’s move on to what to do.
- Make a master list of to-dos and should-dos. Whatever pops into your head right it down.
- Take your TOO LONG list and find ONE THING you can take off your list.
- Do it again.
- Pick out 3 Most Important TASKS (not projects) that must happen today. Make your MITs your list for the day.
Stop telling yourself you’ll have more time later.
It’s a lie. It’s a mirage in the desert. And the more you push out your tasks, the more frustrated you’ll be. The undone tasks and expectations will weigh you down.
If you can’t bear to cross things off your list, ask yourself two questions:
- Will finishing this spark joy?
- Is this essential?
And, if you still can’t delete it off your list, move the item to a new list called “Maybe/Someday.”
Now you can focus on your MITs for the day and feel HAPPY and CONTENT about what you’re getting done. Plus, you won’t feel guilty if you’ve finished your MITs and you want to play a quick video game or relax with a book or just do nothing.
Thanks for reading and watch your feed for the #2 secret to happiness.
