Last Saturday afternoon, I was feeling rather uninspired, in a bit of a funk. I decided to watch a documentary, often times they inspire me. I watched ‘The Science of Fasting,’ it was fascinating. It blew my mind that not eating could heal the body. When digestion stops, the body gets working to heal and repair itself, killing of old toxic cells and regenerating new healthy ones. People have healed many diseases and ailments simply from fasting. I’ve never done a water fast, only a 3 day juice fast. I decided to read up more on fasting, specifically water fasting, where you consume nothing but water. It seemed to be a predominantly positive experience for most, many feeling energized and clear-thinking on a water fast, like they were already in a meditative state of mind. That was it for me, I decided I’d give it a go. My goal: 5 days, nothing but water, no juice, no vitamins, no food, no nutrients. I had been intermittent fasting 18 hours no food, 6 hours eating window quite frequently in the last month so I figured I was warmed up. I started right then and there Saturday afternoon.
Day 1: I definitely had some moments where I was like, why am I doing this? I’m hungry, food will make me feel better. I felt a bit less energy than usual, but nothing alarming. Slept fine.
Day 2: Started to feel very hungry. It was really challenging preparing my son’s meals (I have a 3 year old). Handling the food, cooking it, smelling it… cutting the stem off a strawberry, and not being able to put it in my mouth, it was a torture of sorts. I was definitely starting to feel weak and tired, starting to get a little foggy. In the evening I started to get a little sore and achy. They call this healing crises, when your body detoxes it feels worse, but it does this so it can make itself better.
Day 3: The aching was getting worse, especially in my lower back. I had almost no energy. I wanted to just sit or lay down most of the day. I did however conjure up the energy to go to the store and get my son a Valentine’s present, and prepare Valentine’s for all of his classmates. I’m not feeling particularly hungry anymore. I noticed that my skin lost its color, I normally have quite rosy cheeks, the rosiness was gone, I was just white and pale. I don’t sleep well, I’m restless and achy.
Day 4: The pain in my back is worsening, but I have stuff I have to do today, so I get out of the house early. I see a friend, who tells me I’m speaking slowly and softly compared with how I usual speak. I notice that I’m definitely a softer, more subdued version of myself, I’m weak, but I’m functioning. I do stuff all morning, I pick my son up from school at 12:30 and we head home. I sit on the couch and I don’t want to get up, I get up only to do things for Jet, my son. I don’t care about food anymore. The pain in my back is getting really bad. I put my son to sleep, I lay in bed, I’m in agony. There’s no way I’ll be able to sleep through this pain, I haven’t experienced a pain like this since labor, and I made it 60 hours into a 75 hour labor before I caved and got the epidural, I have a high pain tolerance. The pain is concerning, so I decide to read up and see what might be causing this ‘healing crises’ in my body. From what I can find, it could be the kidneys, the liver, toxins being released from my colon, dangerous levels of heavy metals detoxing from my body. Some of these can be serious and signs you need to stop your fast. I start to feel scared, I’ve got less than 24 hours left to meet my goal, do I trust this is a healing crises and push through? Or do I stop in the event I’m actually causing harm to a vital organ? I look at my precious son sleeping in bed, the answer is clear, better to be safe than sorry. My ego can manage the minor blow. I look at the clock, I see that it’s been 100 hours of water only, and that feels like a victory. So, I decide to drink a green veggie juice made with cucumber, celery, and chard. Within minutes the pain has lessened and I am able to lay down and fall asleep. I wake up a few hours later, the intense agony is back. I get up and drink some bone broth with tumeric. Then sleep again.
Day 5: In the morning I make a spinach, chia, almond milk shake. The pain is less but still there. The color is back in my cheeks, but I’m still weak and tired. I rest, not feeling hungry, the time away from food has made me indifferent to it, but at this point I want to nourish myself so I can feel better and function again. I drink more veggie juice, then I decide to eat some mixed greens with some hummus and chia crackers. Chewing is foreign, my mouth hasn’t moved those muscles in a while. The food feels a little rough in my stomach, but definitely helps alleviate the back pain. I sleep better than I have in days.
Day 6, Today: I’ve had a banana, a handful of trail mix and some lemon water, my back still hurts a bit, but it’s coming and going. My relationship with food has changed. I usually prefer having a meal prepared for me, to having to prepare it myself, I also usually like a mixture of flavors and sauces etc. Right now, I only desire to prepare my own food, and take joy in it, and I want pure things, a banana, an avocado, an almond, no added flavors or salt or pepper even. Just the simple taste of the food itself is enough. I also find so little can be satisfying. This fast, intense and a bit scary, feels like it cleansed me in many ways, both physically and mentally. I feel I’ve renewed a healthy relationship with food, we’ve had a strained relationship in the past. And, it feels good to be alive, and to have some energy again. I appreciate the gift of life, the gift that my body is to me. I realize my relationship with my body is a temporary one, one day I’ll leave it behind. I want the relationship we have together here and now, to be a beautiful one.
Would I do this again? The short answer is yes, but I’d want to do it under the supervision of a healthcare provider, so I can know if my pains are truly dangerous or simply my body detoxing. I feel ready to make healthier changes in my diet, and perhaps after I’ve lived with these changes for sometime, do another juice fast or two, I’d give a water fast another go. There’s no better medicine than preventative medicine. Overall, I’m proud of myself for making it as far as I did. It took discipline and willpower, and knowing that I’m capable of something so challenging gives me confidence in other areas of my life. I’m no longer feeling in a slump, but rather victorious, I needed that.
xo
Aurore
