The Oxford learner’s dictionary refers to stress as "So worried and tired that you cannot relax yourself." The word stress was originally an engineering term, which was a measure the amount of pressure a building could take before it collapsed. But presently a lot more people are collapsing from stress than building. As much as we try to avoid getting stressed, many of us still break down under stress, because of the way we have decided to live our lives.
One thing that is noteworthy is the fact that stress is fed by anxiety, and anxiety by frustration, and frustration is the bedrock of failure. Knowing and avoiding these habits outlined below will help you take control of your life and live a stress-free, failure-free life.
1. Taking up more than you can handle
The easiest way to make a man fail is by putting too much in his hands. This would bring about anxiety, strain and eventually failure. No matter how talented and skillful you are, it is also wise for you to know your limits. In truth, no one works "best" under pressure. Working best under pressure has always been a justification for inadequate planning. Knowing your limits will help you to plan adequately and achieve greatness. All you can do, is all you can do and nothing more. We advise you to do a sincere self-check. Put away all you need to, reject all you need to and accept all you need to. Continually taking more than you can bear is the easiest path to the grave.
2. Trying To Live Your Life By The Achievements Of Others
One of our biggest stress triggers in life results from comparing ourselves to and competing with other people. When others become the yard stick with which you measure and live your life. You find out that you may never measure up, may never achieve true satisfaction and peace of mind, even when you work harder than you ought to. There is an advice parents give to their children in Nigeria where I am from. It says;
"Don't look at your neighbor’s pot of soup to cook yours"
This simply means, don't copy anyone's life, to live yours. You are free to be yourself. Therefore, be the best you can ever be. You don't need to try being someone else. Doing that would make you feel unfulfilled, and the frustration would keep you stressed up.
3. Loneliness from being a workaholic
The third stress trigger is loneliness resulting from the "achieve it all at once" habit. Persons with this habit tend to spend more time at large tasks that ideally, should be broken down into several sub-tasks. This is in a bid to complete the entire task in one swoop. If you examine the personal lives of some of those that are workaholics, you will realize that they are always going in and out of depression. This is because, as busy, hardworking and sometimes as friendly as they try to be, they are always very lonely. You say lonely? Yes, Lonely. This happens to them because of their congested schedules. Loved ones and friends come second to their work in their lives and are put-off by their tight schedules. They work so hard, not having time for themselves, or children, or spouses, etc., only to realize these persons they put second are the reason for which they work in the first place.
Loneliness is capable of sapping energy from any individual. Hence, you are bound to get stressed up if you are or feel lonely. "No matter how engaged you are in life take some time to rest with loved ones and also friends." If you don't spend time with yourself, family and friends, you will be stressed out soon due to loneliness. Remember the golden rule, “people come first”. Make out time to relax with loved ones, go out occasionally, it would give you great relief.
4. Trying To Please Everyone
To live a stress free life, we must learn to understand that we can't do everything people want us to do. The first key to lowering our stress level is learning to say NO. You cannot be a "people-pleaser" and keep stress at a manageable level. Saying no is one of the greatest time savers. Some people are able to accomplish more than others, but we must learn to live within our own limits. As much as we try, it is impossible to please everyone. Economist have said “human want is insatiable”. The more we try to do so, the more disappointed, stressed, frustrated and depressed we will become, because these persons we seek to please would continually desire more than we can offer. So stop trying to please people. Rather be yourself and do your best at being you. Learn to say "NO".
5. Expecting So Much, When You Have Given Little
Expecting so much when you have just put in little is another form of insanity and a direct invitation to stress. You will always end up frustrated when you expect too much from others or yourself. Success is not gotten by wishes, but by smart work. If you want the very best and do not put in the very best you would end up frustrated and this would lead to stress. Whatever you plant is what you must harvest. If you live a life of assumption, you will always be disappointed at what life brings to you. Don't assume all is well. Confirm to be sure. When you do confirm, you will know what is in or out. Remember this, “Always inspect what you expect”. Be willing to pay the price in full for anything you want to acquire or level you seek to attain.
CONCLUSION
People who end up tired and worn out, uptight and irritated (all symptoms of stress), usually spend a lot of time complaining about it, but they do little or nothing to change it. We feel trapped and stressed out most times because we actually think we have to do or achieve all now, but in truth we don't. Put away the habits outlined above and you would be amazed by how stress free your life becomes. Remember to say to yourself, “The best I can do, is all I can do and nothing more”. Push for excellence but not to the point that breaks you.
Feel free to share your opinions, experiences and comments below.