I'm not very good when it comes to cold weather, one big reason why I moved to Spain but its still a seasonal country, it gets cold and a lot of homes like mine do not have central heating and are built to stay cool not to stay warm!
I was sitting on the beach until yesterday and then some of that autumnal weather came rolling in. There was on of the loudest cracks of thunder last night and I literally jolted upright out of my slumber, the cool breeze and terrential rain rolled in.
I've always liked tropical weather, the humidity, the smell of moist warmth, it captivated me from a young age and one of the reasons I love to travel to far off places and avoid the winters. I've spent all of what would of been my savings on travelling and tbh at times I've regretted not having held back something for rainy days. I don't even have my photos to show for some of those travels, somehow my travelling photos got deleted peemantely from my computer, I couldn't even recover them. That hurt real bad but I guess all the memories I need are up here.
Some memories do disappear though but some will never leave you. I don't think I'll forgot the earthquake this summer in lombok, it really shock me up just the sensation of the instability of the surface of the earth, everything beneath my feet moving like the waves of the ocean. The sound of bricks and motar, every physical object shaking so hard and the lights blacking out in an already dark night, felt like the end of the world as we all held each other, crying out to God!
I did not sleep like the rest of the community for a long time, every little tremor, even random noises, in the end anything would trigger a panic that another big one was coming.
After leaving the country there was relief but then disbelief. Both me and my partner were like zombies, we didn't speak much, we would still dream at night the earth was moving and wake up disoriented.
Images of the devestation do not leave my mind, knowing my friends are still then and still have to sleep outside because the tremors still continue and may for months more. Knowing we started a project and not sure what the next step is, only that I have a return ticket and wonder whether I want to go back.
All that aside I try to focus on the now and treat anxiety and depression with one of the best remedies I know, nourishing my body and making food to comfort my soul, spending alot of time in nature and alot less time on the computer. I've started painting which takes my mind to a relaxed place. I don't think there's any quick fix from PTS but giving yourself time does help.