I am sure that every or most first-time mothers can agree with me that, during pregnancy, the only constant (apart form stretch marks and bad gas) was parenting advice. From been-there-done-that-let-me-know-if-you-need-anything mothers to parenting books to online resources to God knows-what's-next. The information available for new mothers is overwhelming and sometimes contradicting.
Being the super relaxed person I am, when I got pregnant, I continued my healthy lifestyle just as usual without overthinking or overdoing anything. And then I shared the secret with my friends, some of which were not even moms themselves. I was trained how to rock a baby to sleep 1000 different ways and how to make the baby fart but nobody, NOBODY, explained the failures, self-doubt and the pressure that a new baby would put on our marriage or how to be a parent. We love our baby to bits but we struggled.
One of the most disappointing thing for me was that the one-size-fits-all did not fit my daughter at all, and to make things worse, she did not come out with an instruction manual. So what now?
I resorted to the following:
Followed my motherly instincts:
Every mother knows her baby more than anyone else, if you think your baby is hungry, that means your baby is hungry so feed the baby even if the book says feed every two hours. To hell with the book.
)
The decision was mine to make- breastfeeding or formula:
If I had to choose between giving birth (old school style) to twelve more babies and breastfeeding one, I would comfortably choose to birth the twelve old school style. Breastfeeding is not for every mother (I must confirm) and that is very normal and okay. THAT THING HURTS!!! Guys, think of the idea of ironing your face with a steam iron and you might get a slight idea.
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Trying my very best made me the perfect mother:
I tried my best to be a great mother and trying alone made me perfect! There is this feeling of relief when you know that you have tried everything you possibly could and despite many failures, you pick-up yourself, brush-off the dust and keep trying. I don't know about others, but this is one of the things that I usually give myself a pat on the shoulder for. Don't be too hard on yourself, just remember to follow that motherly instinct and avoid the voices in the background that are telling you that you are failing at it.
I learned my baby's language:
Babies are great communicators! Pay attention to their body movements and crying sounds, that is their language. Clue in quickly and avoid the "kill-me-dead-now" kind of crying.
I did not forget to remember to take good care of myself:
I actually learned the importance of taking care of myself when I almost lost my mind one night - searching for my three days old baby and could not find her. About five minutes later, I realized I had the baby in my left arm, immediately after that rescue, I heard my cell phone ringing inside freezer. Even though my daughter is turning 5 soon, I still nap when she naps.
Remembering the other half:
Taking time away from the baby and focusing my attention on my husband was a very good decision or one of the best decisions I have made for my family. That's where I gained my first experience of "MAKING TIME" and I am so glad I did it!
Thanks for taking the time to read my blog, I love sharing my stories :]
