I had a bad sleep yesterday because of my breathlessness and I can feel that my lungs have water in them which disturbs my breathing and there is a bit of struggle when I breathe which gives me this kind of situation.
Hopefully after dialysis it will bring back myself into my "normality" and my normal really is a hell condition to some and my misery is just the lowest of the hell there is, so hot that Satan is baking his bread in it.
I am not in heat or flames though but the hardship that I am into is just hellish of a situation. Pain, stiffness, breathlessness, disabilities and it is all piling up still. So I don't know when or where I will capitulate, I just want it to be quick but it seems to be a lingering death that I will face in the short future.