I only love food when I am at my dialysis, at that small window of opportunity my sense of hunger is amplified that is why I could eat two cups of rice with only a little viand especially is there is a lot of gravy as it aids with my eating because of my chewing problem caused by my mouth deformity.
After dialysis no matter how I want to eat well it is not as possible like when I eat at dialysis time because of my appetite loss as I would easily get filled-up or satiated which is the reason I could not eat in normal amounts of food. So my brain tricks me often that I could eat but in reality I really cannot.
I am always fascinated about individuals doing a Mukbang challenge as they call it because these people really can eat like a dog (no offense) it is because they eat large amounts of food that is a serving for many people. But I like watching them because they are inspiring me to eat.
Source
Sometimes at meal time I would watch Mukbang videos just to encourage myself to put food in my mouth, well it helps a little but it is bettter than eating with my father that makes you look unto your food and cuss it and set it aside because it has a lot of cholesterol and your life would not last if you would eat it everyday considering that you are only eating it occasionally.
One of the people I wanted to eat with was my grandfather in my mother's side of the family as he eats with a good appetite even though the meal is just rice and sardines, I just missed him a lot.
Oh well I just hope that soon I will be able to get rid of my parathyroid medicine and fix my mouth too so that my eating will be normalized and I am longing for that moment with the help of God and cryptos/steem community.