My torso feels like a barrel so I feel a discomfort when I am laying on my right side to sleep. I can sleep anyway so my bloatedness wasn't much of an issue relatively. But I know that I have a much better condition than this because when I am drawn with much fluids from dialysis, much more than the nurses had set up I would feel more at ease.
The problem is that I couldn't finish my dialysis without my blood pressure crashing so it is a very big issue for me as I couldn't finish my dialysis at times and also it affects the cleaning process. So sometimes I would leave the dialysis center still with extra water in my system.
It does affect the way I eat because how could I eat if everytime I do so I would risk myself in drinking and further leave me gasping for air. So I am just eating minimally, anyway I have appetite issues anyway so I do not feel that I am being punished but deep inside me I feel that I am not living my life normally for the first time in more than half a year that I could not eat.
I feel like an onion being peeled until I am being destroyed because of my waiting and waiting for a good thing to come in my life only to discover that time had eaten me up because of my nonsense patience. I do not know how long I could last anymore but I pray to God to take me before any of my family because I do not wish to be in a position where I am left out as it would be unimaginable for me. My God help me.