This late afternoon after my siesta I just decided to shower, take a bath actually with all that scrubbing and rinsing just makes me weary. in my mind I am like my former self but when I start to even roll over my bed or get up from lying down I am way much different as if I was put in a different body that in even my wildest dreams I didn't even thought of.
Now I just have to face the music that even though I have the means necessary to improve my body it certainly will not be the same anymore. If only my life has a start button if not self-destruct button I would have pressed it a long time ago.
But this is a reality, it is neither a nightmare nor a dream and what I have to do now is what is right which is why with all my abilities and knowledge I am trying to make things right but it is proving to be hard because of many factors.
Time is of the essence with all the sense of the word for me because my body can't wait anymore. I might be hoping for a hopeless case but that hope in my heart is what keeps me from pressing on with life.
I am just thankful that I am I believe one of the fortunate patients out here because even though I am invalid I can still earn for myself and that is really a miracle. I am in turn saving my parents worries on how we can bridge my life, for now. Of course nothing is for sure especially for my finances, I could dry-up my money fast without earning to sustain my needs because of the prices of my medicines so right now I feel like I am always in a hurry to patch my pockets because if they left unabated I could see myself in a more difficult situation in that regard. But right now I am still good and I hope that God would not leave me so helpless because I do not want a lingering death, may that cup pass from me.