I have done a lot of things to my body. bad, bad things.
Over the years, I've gotten very convicted of the various, delicious poisons to which I've willingly succumbed. In the past, I would repeatedly decide to turn over a new leaf and live the whole foods way and never look back.
Regrettably, one month later, I was back to serving myself the breakfast of champions: a bowl of chester's hot fries and diet dr. pepper.
I have trouble with balance.
As many bad, bad things that I've done to my body... I've also had my share of good, bad things. Meaning: things that were intended to be good, but because I abused the practice so badly, it wasn't doing me any favors.
(ummmm, never take 20 vitamins a day.)
It's been a long journey, and I'd like to think that I've made some progress. For various reasons, it's been necessary for me to do research for 10+ years on nutrition, functional medicine, gluten and gut permeability, GMOs, probiotics, prebiotics, the microbiome, lacto-fermentation, inflammation, the gut-brain connection, oh – I'm sure I could go on, but you get the picture.
For a good portion of this process, I was a reluctant participant. (For alternate meanings to reluctant see: angry, judgmental, sarcastic, skeptical, bitter, and all-around wench)
But the hubby was patient – and continued to share the newest info with me. Though I had difficulty embracing the lifestyle in the beginning, I had to admit that everything we were implementing was working. Really working. It wasn't overly challenging to adopt when I was cooking at home, but walking through the supermarket wasn't super pleasant. I was surrounded by a plethora of poisonous pleasures, and it made me angry again. Angry that I couldn't eat it, angry that I still craved it, angry that foods were intentionally designed with the purpose of addicting me.... just angry.
A recovering alcoholic shouldn't ever step foot into a bar – but how was I supposed to avoid the supermarket? I felt like the system was set up for the consumer to fail. (Of course it was – and still is.) But instead of feeling like I had the power to choose wisely, I always felt a guilty longing to pick my poison.
I still have so much to learn. However, the reason for this post is that I'd like to share one of the most recent experiences on my journey:
THE DETOX
I received an invitation for attending a free master class about the importance of detoxing. I fully realized that nothing in this world is free, and knew that after listening to the series, I would most likely be offered a special “one-time deal” to purchase whatever it was they were selling. I had no problem listening to the info, and then turning up my nose at the deal. I really only wanted the info. I didn't want another practice that I was going to need to implement.
The only problem was – every thing she explained about the detox made sense. Gahhhhhhhhh.
For those that don't know – a detox is basically a designated time to shield your body from the onslaught of environmental, nutritional, and even psychological attacks that are our everyday norm. During that time, you will most likely be eating specific foods and eliminating specific categories of foods in order to give your body the best chance to flush itself of any build-up of toxins.
Most critics of this practice will say “But the body doesn't need any help. It's designed to have many systems in place that already handle all these toxins!” They are correct. The body is designed to do this! However, we live in a time where we are being exposed to an alarmingly increasing amount of toxins. Not just in the water, or the air, or the ground – but in every thing we eat. Add in the amount of stress, the lack of sleep, and the level of “go-go-go!” we expose ourselves to willingly. We were not designed to handle all of that, and frankly- we can't keep up with the necessary rest and repair that we need.
The particular detox that we use is a 26 day detox. (I'm sure you can google 26 day detox and it will probably only bring up one. That's the one. Hahaha) It's designed to “change the oil every 3,000 miles” in your body as it assists your own natural ability to flush toxins. In this way, you're hoping to be in a better position to withstand the onslaught of attacks in between detoxes.
(Source - my house!)
We signed up for the lifetime membership which comes with a bunch of goodies. In my opinion, the most valuable part of the program (outside of the manual itself!) was access to the online support group for every recurring 26-day detox we choose to join in the future. I cannot even express the amount of laughter that I enjoyed in that group forum – not to mention support, mutual grumbling, tweaks and tips, and flat-out warnings from the "veterans" of what was to come.
We just completed our second detox with this particular program, and plan on doing it all over again in 6 more months. As good and as necessary as it all was, to be blunt: BLAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. yes it feels good. but i want chester's hot fries!!!!
I decided to compile a bunch of funny text conversations between me and the hubs, or between me and various members of the group. I deal with difficult situations by confronting them with as much laughter as I can. As a gift for my detox tribe, I turned these snippets of texts (either real – or inspired by real situations) into a funny/encouraging journal for them to use for our next detox in 6 months.
If you've ever thought about doing a detox, feel free to use this 26 day journal to peek into some of the daily struggles of a detoxer. It's not comprehensive, but it will give you some of the highlights! (Disclaimer: This is NOT the detox program, and in no way, is this meant to replace the actual detox program! It is also not medical advice!! Please do not treat it as such. Only do a detox after researching which one is best for you and consult your physician before proceeding with any detox program!!!) It's only meant to be funny and hopefully entertaining observations about my OWN experience on the 26 day detox program. I tried my best to balance humor (and whining) with encouragement (and cracking the whip). If you don't get some of the jokes … or if you just have questions... I love comments! Ask away!
(you might want to private message me any of the more personal questions. hahaha If so – feel free to DM me on discord. I use the same name as my steemit account!)
Also.... if you REALLY want a print version of this journal and you're REALLY gonna do a detox.... I have a few I can give out for free. Send me your address in discord and I'll ship one to you! Shipping in the US is less than $5, so I'll cover it for you. If you're outside of the US and shipping is more than $5 – then maybe you can kick in some steem to offset it? ;)
I'll post Day 1's comic tomorrow and submit a new one each day until the 26 days are over! :)