Applying for Disability

Hopefully this is the last downer post for a while. There are a lot of great things going on in my steem world; IRL has mostly been a holding pattern.

Good news first - I went 10 straight days without an attack! That's huge. In the past 9 months, I haven't gone more than 3 days without an attack. Pretty stoked about that, and hopeful that it can be repeated. Of those 10 days, I had 4 where I was also sharp enough to have worked a normal job. It gave me a lot of hope that we were close to having meds tuned in just right.

Saw the doctor on Friday after an attack on Thursday.... we are going to make some more little tweaks, but he suspects this is about as good as it gets. It is disappointing, and I'm going to keep trying, but it was a blow to the hopes. Hive account@foxe and I have decided that applying for disability is the best thing I can do for my family at this time. The ego crushing impact this has on my psyche is indescribable. Helping, being useful, lifting those around me.... always has been part of my identity. It feels like I am losing that. There is still hope. I will try to get to a place where this isn't the best thing for my family.

Forgive me if I've been a bit absent lately. I also had two attacks on Sunday and am still trying to recover from those mentally. The aches have mostly worn off, and I'm just waiting out the headache. Hopefully I'll be tip-top tomorrow. Mean time, I'm trying to have fun with my down swing. Until next time!