I am still in pain. I can use my voice again, in limited bursts, but it is usually just to express my pain and disdain at the fact that I can't consume any solids yet.
The most solid thing I've consumed is jelly. I tried to have some tinned Salmon today, from a handy tiny can. Got a tiny chunk in my mouth, and just couldn't chew. The swelling and numbness on the left hand side of my face is still overwhelming to have enough control to not risk opening up all the stiches on the left hand side of the mouth.
I've had cream of Mushroom Soup, I've had Pumpkin Soup, and my go to meal is currently the following:
1 bannana
Two handfulls of frozen water cubes (otherwise known as ice)
Two scoops of protein powder
Two small scoops of veggie powder
250 ml of Almond Milk (chocolate flavoured)
250 ml of Water
BLEND THE BELOVED SHIT OUT OF IT FOR 35 SECONDS. Consume, whimperingly, missing meat in my mouth. Make that an innuendo if you want, I don't care.
I was told by the surgical follow up staff that rang me the day that followed that it was not an easy extraction, and I'd likely be in more pain than what normal people experience.
Still, the only time I am taking painkillers is to go to bed. They help me sleep. Last night I took 2, and I woke up with more pain than I remember going to bed with. So I won't be doing that again, I'll just let it fade bit by bit, and not risk masking any pain, should there be complications that I am not aware of.
I have three more antibiotic capsules to take over the next 24 hours, and I am keen to get my stomach and gut flora back into one piece. It's certainly also been disturbed. Sure, it wasn't perfect before, but I've been having about 300g of yoghurt daily to try and get the antibiotics something to fight.
This has turned into an essay. I can very easy talk about my pain and suffering for days upon days.
Right now, I need more time to rest and recover. Having had a few days to do this, I must truly appreciate how much this sort surgery impacts upon me. More than I thought it would, but less than I'd imagined.
So there's a silver lining.
When I am done with this stinging, this pain, the three-daily curasept washes, the half dozen salt-water brine washes, I hope that Barbie and Oppenheimer are still showing in cinemas because I want to take a day, pain free (and popcorn free) - to go and see two juxtaposed films in succession so that I have no idea what to think.
Circling back to the topic of painkillers, they're ... great and not great. As they whisk you away to sleep, there's some pretty disturbing thoughts and "half day-dream / dream visions", which has discouraged me from taking them.
Probably all in my head, but still.
I'll get better. I just need more time.
On the bright side, I'm losing weight. Not just that which was the weight of the teeth that were removed. What I have instead gained is the tension of pain, and probably more cortisol from stress than my body can hope to process without MEAT.
Did I mention that I miss meat?