Can you still remember your first heartbreak? Was it the time your classmate took your snacks from your table? Was it when you got bullied at school because of your bobby haircut? Was it when your crush smiled at another girl? Or was it your recent break-up?
According to American Heart Association, the "Broken Heart Syndrome", also called a stress-induced cardiomyopathy or takotsubo cardiomyopathy can attack you even when you are healthy. It can lead you to cardiac consequences that includes depression, mental health and heart disease. This syndrome can also be misdiagnosed as a heart attack because they have similar findings. The only difference is that the broken heart syndrome doesn't have evidences that some heart arteries are blocked.
I had my first heart break when I lose my dad. He was the love of my life, my companion in every circumstance. It was a sudden event that nobody was prepared for it because he got into an accident that led him stay in the ICU for a couple of days until his body gave in.
As the eldest in the family, I had to be strong for everyone. I needed to show my siblings that we could get through every storms that may happen after my dad left. I have been to severe depression but nobody knew about it because I wanted to hide my real emotions to the world and pretended that I was the strongest among them. I focused working, made no friends, deprived myself in all kinds of pleasure and tried taking over the responsibilities that my dad supposed to do.
Months passed, I experienced chest pains and panic attacks that got me in hospitals for 4 times. (yes, that's four times! in different occasions) The last time I remembered it was a Saturday morning. I got a call from a relative in my hometown telling me a news that my brother was in the police station for interrogation because he happened to be the "star witness" of a murder. My system got panicked. I didn't know what to do. My dad couldn't rescue. My mom was nowhere to be found. My other siblings were still high school students. I got no one on my back. I made it 'till Sunday morning without telling anyone. Again, I acted strong.
After the church service, my psychological state collapsed. I couldn't breathe. Everything was blurry. I woke up with an oxygen in my nostrils. The doctor told me that if I wanna live longer, I should straighten up myself and be more brave in telling my family or my friends about any of my despair.
Things to remember:
It's okay to cry.
Shedding tears in front of your family and friends don't necessarily mean you're weak instead it's a sign of bravery.
Don't forget that you're human. It's okay to have melt down. Just don't unpack and live there. Cry it out and refocus on where you are headed.
-Unknown
Crying is stereo-typically seen as a weakness when it actually means a strength within us. It somehow helps us to let go of the things that we lose and broke our hearts. Pretending that you're okay like I did does not always help solve the problems that you're currently battling. It can sometimes make things worst.
Scientifically, women are more likely to experience severe psychological and physical stress when things breakdown. Based on the study, the broken heart syndrome can cause the temporary enlargement of some parts of the heart and it prevents from pumping blood well. Researches are just starting to learn how to diagnose and treat it.
If you don't cry it out, can it kill you?
Time heals all wounds.
Ecclesiates 3:1
There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heavens.
Psalm 147:3
He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.
These verses from the bible say it all. Everything under the sun has its own perfect time. But it's not the "time" alone heals, it's what you do with the time heals. Allow yourself to be human and feel all the pain until it's gone. There are no shortcuts to healing. From yesterday's post, I talked about two people who became my instant best friends. We talked about the beauty of waiting for the perfect timing. The things you do in the process of healing is what matters most. The enjoyment of taking the journey step by step and learning from it bit by bit. Waiting cannot kill you. Rushing can.
Romantically, one of the most difficult part of people's lives is ending a relationship. Nobody is an expert and no one is exempted.
Kun atong binisay-on, "walay maayong laki sa gugma".
Allow yourself to grieve. Feel your feelings. Do not deny that you are hurting until it hurts no more. Suicidal cases are rampant nowadays because people have weaker emotions and easier to give up. They let themselves eaten by negative thoughts and tend to blame themselves as to why things didn't go the way they planned. They feel confused, bewildered, shattered and are overwhelmed by these uncontrollable feelings to the point of ending their lives. Intense emotions can be dealt through expressing them.
The Broken heart syndrome has no cure yet. But we can prevent it by opening our hearts and minds to the people who care.
