People will always get you mad, step on your toes, say things that hurt and betray you. It's ok to be angry but it's bad to stay angry.
Anger is an emotion like fear, shame or guilt. We've all felt it at one time or the other. Either as a fleeting annoyance or as full-fledged rage. Sometimes, we have valid reasons to get angry. The insensitive actions of other people, frustration from shattered expectations or a bad day. Anger problems have less to do with what happens to you than how you interpret and think about what happened.
Anger problems often stem from what you’ve learned as a child. If you watched others in your family scream, hit each other, or throw things, you might think this is how anger is supposed to be expressed. Traumatic events and high levels of stress can make you more susceptible to anger as well. Uncontrolled anger is destructive and can lead to problems at work, in your personal relationships, health and in the overall quality of your life.
Anger can make you feel as though you're at the mercy of an unpredictable and powerful emotion. You can’t completely eliminate angry feelings. But you can make changes to the way those events affect you, and the ways in which you respond. By making the effort to keep your anger in check, you and the people close to you will be happier in the long run.
Anger and your health
Your health is your life...
Anger can take different forms. Some people feel angry much of the time, or can’t stop dwelling on an event that made them mad. Others get angry less often and bottle it up until they can't take it anymore and when they do, it comes out as explosive bouts of rage. Whatever form it takes, uncontrolled anger can negatively affect your physical health and emotional well-being. Research shows that anger and hostility can increase people's chances of developing coronary heart disease, and lead to worse outcomes in people who already have heart diseases. Anger can also lead to stress-related problems including insomnia, digestive problems and headaches. Anger drains your mental energy, and clouds your thinking, making it harder to concentrate or enjoy life. It can also lead to stress, depression, and other mental health problems.
Anger can also contribute to violent and risky behaviors, including drug and alcohol use and abuse.
** Anger and your relationship **
Anything you can't control definitely has control over you.
A lot of people can't manage social relations because of their anger problems. Anger can significantly damage relationships with family, friends and colleagues. I've seen people who were very close at some point in time, find it difficult to even say a hi or hello to each other because of unresolved anger issues. Anger causes lasting scars in the people you love most and gets in the way of friendship. Nobody wants to be around people who get angry very quickly or who can't be pacified easily. There are people who until they get a pound of flesh can't let go. If you're one of such, you have to learn to put your emotions under check as uncontrolled anger reduces us and brings the worst out of us.
ANGER MANAGEMENT
While it’s perfectly normal to feel angry when you’ve been mistreated or wronged, anger becomes a problem when you express it in a way that harms yourself or others. The true goal of anger management isn't to suppress feelings of anger but rather to understand the message behind the emotion and express it in a healthy way without losing control.
Recognize the signs of anger build up. When you recognize the signs, step away from the situation or try relaxation techniques to prevent your irritation from escalating. Check yourself. It’s hard to make smart choices when you’re in the grips of a powerful negative emotion. Rather than trying to talk yourself down from a cliff, avoid climbing it in the first place. Try to identify warning signs that triggers anger.
Don’t dwell. Some people have a tendency to keep rehearsing the incident that made them mad. That’s an unproductive strategy, especially if you have already resolved the issue that angered you in the first place. Instead, try to let go of the past incident. One way to do that is to focus instead on things you not the end of the world.” Try these strategies to reframe your thinking
Relax. Simple relaxation strategies, such as deep breathing and relaxing can help soothe angry feelings. Shallow breathing is angry breathing. Practice taking controlled, slow breaths that you picture coming up from your belly rather than your chest. If you practice one or more of these strategies often, it will be easier to apply them when angry feelings strike
4.Redirect your thoughts. When you’re angry, it’s easy to feel like things are worse than they really are. Through a technique known as cognitive restructuring, you can replace unhelpful negative thoughts with more reasonable ones. Instead of thinking “Everything is ruined,” for example, tell yourself “This is frustrating, but it’s not the end of the world.
Use imagery. Visualize a relaxing experience from your memory or your imagination. Progressive muscle relaxation. With this technique, you slowly tense then relax each muscle group one at a time. For example, you might start with your toes and slowly work your way up to your head and neck
Improve your communication skills. People often say things that they don't mean in the heat of anger. Some jump to conclusions when they’re angry, and they can say the first (often unkind) thing that pops into their heads. Try to stop and listen before reacting. Then take time to think carefully about how you want to reply. If you need to step away to cool down before continuing the conversation, do so.
Exercise. Regular physical exercise can help you decompress, burn off extra tension and reduce stress that can fuel angry outbursts.
See a psychologist. If you continue to feel overwhelmed, consult with a psychologist or other licensed mental health professional who can help you learn how to control your anger. He or she can help you identify problem areas and then develop an action plan for changing them.
Reference sources(https://www.helpguide.org/articles/relationships-communication/anger-management.htm)