Often as we go about our lives we are constantly bombarded with our own narrative of thoughts. While sometimes these thoughts can be pleasant daydreams and trances of fantasy, many times they are anxieties and negative thoughts. Today I would like to discuss some negative forms of thinking and share some tips on how to catch and prevent them.
Worrying- While worrying does have some use, such as helping us prepare for future difficulties or helping us keep on track with our responsibilities, many people find themselves worrying excessively. We might find that we are crippled by excessive irrational worries and unable to function properly. Some common signs of excessive worrying include:
- Excessive anticipation, and thinking way too far into the future.
- Overestimating the odds of negative life events occurring.
- Catastrophizing and expecting failures.
Self Victimization- Sometimes we are our own biggest enemy. Well tell ourselves that we are not good enough, not worthy, never going to get better ect. When we think like this about ourselves we create mental barriers that become self fulfilling prophecy. Some common signs of self victimization include:
- Negative self talk. If we often find ourselves using negative language to describe ourselves, it is surely an indication of how we are feeling about ourselves mentally.
- If we find ourselves feeling defeated with low motivation to do the activities we know we need to do.
- We tell ourselves that things will never get better and we are unable to change.
Self Criticism- Everyone judges and criticizes themselves from time to time, and to some extent this can be may be helpful for keeping ourselves on track with our goals and staying motivated; however, if we find ourselves obsessing over our failures and not recognizing our successes. Some common signs of self criticism include:
- Focusing on our negative attributes, limitations, and failures.
- Constantly comparing ourselves to others we perceive as better than ourselves.
- Minimizing our positive attributes and successes.
Perfectionism- We all want to do the best that we can, but sometimes we can obsess with perfection to the extent where it becomes a barrier to our success. We might mull over details while missing the bigger picture, base our happiness and self esteem on externals such as material possessions and status. Some signs of perfectionism include:
- Holding oneself to a standard that is unrealistic and unattainable.
- Basing your self worth around the people and possessions in your life.
- High levels of stress, and the inability to relax.
- Obsession over minor details and issues that are unimportant.
Ways of minimizing negative self talk:
Cultivate awareness of your thinking patterns- Try to identify and label negative thoughts as they occur. Labeling thinking patterns will help you become more mindful of when certain types of thinking might occur, being aware of the types of negative thoughts that occur, when they occur, and what things might trigger them is the first step to developing an awareness of your thinking process.
Practice mindfulness techniques- Practicing mindfulness techniques such as meditation, positive self talk, and breathing exercises can improve your mood, sense of well being and even your ability to respond to external stimuli.
Replacing thoughts- Once you become more aware of your thinking patterns and the stimuli that triggers them you can start to make changes. You can prime yourself with positive self talk before and after you encounter a stressful stimulus. Overtime you will find that your mind will begin to associate the positive thoughts with the stimuli.
Engage in relaxing activities- Negative self talk and criticism is often tied to the stress we have in our lives. It is always important to insure that we are spending some of our time engaging in pleasant relaxing activities.