Well I have reached the halfway point of my planned stay here in the Clinic and the ups and downs are still very much there. Im a bit worried about having to take sleeping pills to get rest at night, there is so much going on in my head that I find it dificult to concentrate on my treatment sometimes. I don't want to leave here becoming dependant on taking sleeping pills, I have always hated taking pharmaceuticals.
Also a couple people who I met here who were very kind and supportive have left this week which makes for less interesting conversations. Im concerned about the speed of my recovery and my ability to properly do my job which I will unable to begin as originally planned. My work requires a high level of concentration and positive energy something that I am lacking of right now. Amongst other things that I am worried about right now my financial situation, proper living accomodation so that my children can stay with me when I have some time and the lack of legal information that I am receiving from my lawyer regarding the court case that could drag out for months.
I am going to try and increase my physical activity in the gym hopefully that will help me to get enough rest at night, its hard to focus on important things when you are tired and medicated.
I know that I will come out stronger and healthier eventually but today is just one of those days where I my frustrations are overwhelming. These little diaries will hopefully be a reminder to myself in the future when feeling moments of weakness and despair and has also been recommend by my therapist.
Thanks for your support again wishing you all a great day.
Lorenzo